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-   -   Quick rhyme (http://community.rapverse.com/showthread.php?t=93286)

Celcius 11-21-03 12:50 PM

Quick rhyme
 
I got itchy quickly about MCs talking they flow sickly/
When my illness requires a doctor and three nurses with me/
I'm near death when I rhyme so i also bring the hearses with me/
And I don't wanna start a new plague
So I choose not to bring my verses with me/
Not much into battling but you don't wanna versus against me/
I see rap has fallen to the point where except a few are all fake/
Well I'm here to be that insurance like Metlife or Allstate/
I don't hang around the fence cause I been hot, off gate/
With plans to get on 90 percent of ya computers
So I can off Gates/
I got C4 and dynamite planted about to blast the house/
Keep ya bling to yaself, I'm not into flossin'
I got a nasty mouth/

Baron Mynd 11-21-03 01:39 PM

Flow was there but your internals and multi's are madd basic .. like only one or two syllable rhyming .. that took away from the piece in my opinion .. it was too short to really get indepth over .. that didnt help with it either .. seemed to decline as it continued IMO .. not really a lot there for me to criticise so basically .. just keep practicing i guess .. try writing to a proper topic ..

Zp.

Celcius 11-21-03 01:52 PM

Thanks for the feedback, appreciate that

2hOt4tV 11-21-03 02:53 PM

It Was Good,but too short,write ur shit,check and change somethin b4 u post............. and reply me at http://www.rapbattles.com/forum/sho...&threadid=93181


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