"The Final Kiss"
 

Replies:
LoCo - "Love Me"
Camarac - "Music is Dieing"
Jay-R - "Reverse Psychology" (all worth the read I might add)

This song is dedicated to my ex-girl of 2 years. it was a very abrupt break up, and I wish it never happened, she was th eonly stability in my life...vibe with me.

Verse One-

When it rains it pours; shoulder’s strained from the force-
Of the weight of the world, on the blades of a corps-
I’m just the shell of a man I was, I came and I saw-
But I’ve yet to conquer myself; ashamed of a loss-
Haunted by hatred and all this anger causes stress-
I ran into this shit, and never paused for breath-
Heaven’s stairways guided by the flagrant halls of death-
I’m drowning and Katrina, you’re the anchor on my neck-
I can’t be what I want, but my supremacy reigns-
My train of thought wrecked, and left my memory stained-
Words blend in the page, emotion vented through rage-
I sit and envision times that since have decayed-
My temper enflames my thoughts, picture me caged-
In by a female’s persuasion to get me to stay-
Yea right, it’s no use I’m to into my ways-
This is our final kiss, my life’s symphony plays-

Hook (Not Yet Written)

Verse Two-

Maybe I shouldn’t have took you for granted, face it I died-
When I asked you to forgive me, and you stated “Goodbye”-
This is too much to take I’m aching inside-
I feel like I got stabbed with a stake in my side-
Internally bleeding, I think we both know the cause-
I changed, and you showed no hope when I called-
My rash actions, got me ready to relapse, asking-
God to grant me one more potion: That’s all-
That I really need to make it through this pain I’ve soaked-
Into every pore in my body, till it stained my soul-
Begging Heaven for the utmost strength and hope-
Forget hope, I just want some more strength to cope-
This is beyond cruel and unusual no one’s to blame-
But myself, Thank you for just throwing away-
The only thing you had to live for, throw in the chains-
Is this love, or am I just going slowly insane? –

Hook (Not Yet Written)


I hope everyone can feel my pain, I'm gonan write verse three soon.



-depression is hell-

pretty tight... I was actually lookin for one of your pieces, because you replied to everyones tracks wit constructive criticsm..
I actually liked this alot, yea nigga i feel ur pain :( girls got that specially wen u love em...
but at the end is feeled a lil forced:
Maybe I shouldn’t have took you for granted, face it I died-
When I asked you to forgive me, and you stated “Goodbye”-

i feel you in this. depression sucks but overall that stuff is tight. work on it and get a hook and 3rd verse. i feel your lyrics.

i think this was tight makes me want to look at my relationship in another way

^no doubt, I wish I would've knew then what i know now, maybe things would be different. Thanks for the replies y'all. I appreciate it.




-memories suck ass-

Zzzzzzzzzzzz




-bed of nails-

Was an nice drop, ..some good vocab used, ..topic ..like it, ..cud use some more flow at some points, but it was a nice read ..

Thanks, I appreciate it. I need to find a beat for it, I'll polish it up after I get one.

Up

i think u need to lose that name....cuz 13th...belongs to me......
everybody knows that....

on the contrary, you registered 11 days after he did.

i agree this was a nice drop, the flow fell off a bit,,, but on the whole i thought it good with some nice vocab........not too keen on the hook, ...but..........Pz

tru enough....BUT.....i been here while he been somewhere else...

damn...you hit hard in this....you could really feel the emotion...amazing read....keep that up...i'll be looking to read more from you...pz stay up

YO....on da real i think this was a nice piece da rhyme scheme was poetic and and it was on point wit da feeling that it expressed...yo on da real homie i felt ur pain cuz i ve been there too so this piece came direct so on da real i think it was ill....nice work

illest line in this piece: Maybe I shouldn’t have took you for granted, face it I died-
When I asked you to forgive me, and you stated “Goodbye”-

not bad... good flow... I don't really reply to stuff... so this was cool...