Opinions Needed!
 

Let me know which verse you think is better overall. One is my friend's and the other is mine (I'm not gonna say which is which). I'm asking this because we have to decide which one is going to be used for a song that's being made.

[VERSE 1]
Imprisonment for wisdom living is a system
Made up of decisions and wishing voices risen/1
Switching perspectives inspect this situation,
Detect the faults injected in our nation/2
Infested complications complex digestions wasted,
Ethiopian tasted death estimated/3
Accelerated domination’s celebrated,
Bluntly stated countries fell hells awaited/4
War is a sin the hate ratios spins,
Irate populations inclination to win/5
Abdication of authority can you afford to be loyalty,
If not you’re to poor to be off the streets you need more to eat/6
To survive lack of sleep in your eyes,
Your life’s not alive it’s deprived all the tries/7
To amend but your offended by your outcome,
Your dilemma ascends and you’re about to run/8
From your poverty difficulties wants and needs,
Contemplate on strategy but thoughts haunt and taunt your free/9
Well being your bleeding seeing meaning is decreasing,
People freezing from the breeze leaving spirits are weaving/10
Intervening can you hear it the screams of death you are near it,
Do you fear it tears hit cheeks from this lyrics/11

[VERSE 2]
Fear within, heart pumpin, and lyrics come chargin
Mind in a spin, has no swivel pin, remission my sin/-1
Violence in sequence, actions with no consequence
Pain is dense, due to those without moral sense/-2
Refrain and substain, tryin to sustain what remains
Maintain your humain, before you're another slain/-3
Trust's a hard crust to hide that which is our inner lust
How can I adjust? There's no reason to believe I must/-4
What was once an ore is now the problem and more
This allows for the society to endure with no implore/-5
Earth consists and now exists to restrain any remiss
Does this mean we'll all burn in an infernal abyss?/-6
12 bars of concern that I'ma spit till my tongue burns
Before the world adjourns with no available return/-7
The atmosphere is a cyclone that I try not to condone
2 cats on our own, but we'll make our presence known/-8
We're the source of remorse driven by the same force
Goal is to enforce and endorse through lyrical intercourse/-9
Turbulence shakin my sense and weakenin my defence
If turned to stone they'd still commit statuary offence/-10
Blood on my street and bodies on the concrete evey week
I don't speak, outta respect for those in a permanent sleep/-12

Hit this up!

i think there bnoth good verses...i think maybe if you combined some of the better parts from each verse...that would be best...just make it into one like killer verse...it'd be tight....but all in all..i'd say number one...my 2 cents...pz

Aight, thanks for your opinion dogg.

i agree with rule, they were both killer verses, you should combine them, if not i say that verse 2 is better. but thats just my opinion.

Aight.

VERSE 1: 1
VERSE 2: 1

Uppin...

I liked verse 2 best they were both illl tho

Thanks

VERSE 1: 1
VERSE 2: 2

^First verse to reach 5...

Uppin...

you both verses are dope, mabie combine them a lil and create a supreme being....................
........................................
...................................

i think verse one

VERSE 1: 2
VERSE 2: 2

don't up so much.
you need to reply to three other pieces and then post links to your replies in this thread.
if you don't, I will delete this thread.
thanks, bud.

Aight, I'm at school right now but I'll do that when I get home.

Can ya at leat give your opinion though?