OTD unfinished
 

My twisted stories/ were Like abstract obsrutctions of justice/ i hid my problem solving capabilities under a massive mind boulder revealing it untrusted/exposing evidence from a trial unsettled and corrupted// my knowledge grew older and a revelation errupted// I wanted change for the dollar my life was worth/ buyin twenty dollar fame from a snake i remember from birth/ fuck it/ I got lost in this fantasy world for ages/ a reality role playing game that cost more than i paid for it/ just a deformed irritating paragraph in one of lifes many pages/ To hear my thoughts should be like a gift in sentences formal clean/ see now i could care less about my presence in this hip hop scene/ i believe in spreading scientifical ritual in the most natural form/habitual/almost absurdly elemetal when my helium freestlyes lift you to a new level of alarm///ahhhhh/// balloon rappers are a sin in my opinion/ getting popped by drug needles and all the sharp corners they be hitting/ air headed/floating on the wrong path headed/ to get so high no one could hear you if you said it// I QUIT// shift course before its too late for change/ when your already harmed and mentaly deranged/ stop being controlled by people you dont know like mariages arranged/ completley astranged and hurting to your ways in this life game/strange/ to remain nameless is shameless you can still reach for the stars/ without getting so close/ that the temperature changes are depressing parts...// ego scars/ theres a diference of being known and being famous/ the sensation of loving your art without making a playlist explains it/ simpily/the critcal negative energy is what bars our creativity/ causing the positive people to not understand my deep analogies// i was a social servant/ swept away by the powerfull waves of the turbulant mainstream...


unparalled/ feeling/ of an utopia type vison/a perfect balance of thought/without the crumbling decisons /the right choice is in the eye of the speaker inprisoned/ listen to the voice in your head/ free it slowly and sink deeper// become an ill antibiotic for the dirty microphone disease/ disperse the open verse secretive/hidden viral syndromes to cash money emcees/ home alone in the middle of a mental blizzard/ freeze/ drop to your knees and your senses/ my wise words dispense a journey thats endless/ pretend its/ an isolated world and your a bird that cant sing/ having the knowledge of all that was/ and never could be heard by anything/ yell out your agression in your mind while searching for answers// cancers/ of the industry are ignored/untight/ have your shit out for two months then the people get bored/thats right/ submit to bright lights/ new heights and directors insights/ before long your songs will become repetitive bites copywrite

uppin

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but this was ok....you need to work on structure, try putting the lines on top of each other so its structured a bit better....flow was ok, could have been a bit better add some multies and internals to it...vocab was ok....overall this was alright...keep at it and keep dropping.