Son Of The Mourning
 

I look outside, and What do I see?
You tell me, As I speak, your here with me
I see things of great proportion
the Devil's package drops
and when it lands, it brings upon explosion
and leaves not a trace of life
I see a person, walking down Wall St.
With Satan's Smile
And another person forced to go bankrupt
I read, books of pain
written in text, but with missteps
no novel is perfect,and a perfect book isn't a novel
I turn a page, and I'm amazed, The book got me startled
Lucifer presents light to those who come near
THen closes his jaws on people, who he brings upon fear
and darkness overcomes the light
its getting cold
they find their reciept on hell's hard floor
I can't sleep, the stories unfold, Im in too deep
Satan, the son of the mourning
And I see the sun in the East.

damn--i was deffinately feelin that shit, wit out a doubt--ive been tryin to get into some more deep shit and this shit is real im deff feellin it...i like the name too
keep it up homie
UnO

^

Structure was a bit uneven, not enough to disrupt the flow, but enough to be noticed. I'm not sure, you might have done this for reasons. I enjoyed reading this one, but for some reason i wanted to read more. Ryhme scheme was simple, could have used some twist and such. Topic, really nice, I wouldn't have guessed what your drop was about without reading the entire thing. Some peolpe are just too predictable, not this though. Other than the minor things I tried to point out here there is not much I would do to this. Keep them coming, it's nice to see you taking advantage fo the scriptures thread.

Bounce...

This shit was on another level, i was deeply feeling just the way it seemed like concentrated rambling, it was deep and profound yet easy to understand, it felt as if i were unlocking the answer to the most thought puzzling question i had ever been asked, respect...1luv.

Hm... bouncedoggydog pretty much summed up the technical aspect, so aint nothing there for me to say.

As for the peice itself, it befuddles me. Assuming that's a word. I guess I'm perplexed by it's meaning. I can understand the whole Lucifer consuming people thing, but that's about it. Something tells me there is more to it. Hm...

~Shalom~

i agree it was very unique
i injoyed reading this piece a lot

check this out
 

^WTF?

sites down give it awhile

^What the fuck is it?

I think it's a bands web site skidz!

if the content of quite amazing poem interested you in anyway, then I recommend this site. I promise it isnt any fucked up religious type god bothering shit.

nor is it as deep and profound (in most part)

its just right

it is a band site, but it is also an important one

It is mint as fuck lads

SALFORD POWER

i really like this poem..everything i would say was pretty well summed up by the other replies but one thing i would like to add is this kinda thing IS SO TRUE... i love the way ur visions were so clear to us readers and its a wake up call to reality i like this man aint got much to say on workdetails caws i personally like it just like this...keep this up..

i had to read this a couple of times.......it was a good drop....some real deep shit....................i liked