First verse to a song for my girl FEEDBACK PLEASE
 

Yo baby girl I love you more then tha air I breathe…..
we’ll ride together and best believe I’ll neva leave….
I wanna BE with you till tha day that I die…..
Even through all tha struggles and tha days you cry….
Yur beauty is a thing of undeniable perfection……
If you wit me yur guaranteed reliable protection …..
When I see you my heart starts to grow,
and feels like I’ve jus’ been shot wit cupids arrow….
I’ll neva eva let you go……..till death do us part…..
All tha rhymes I sing to you come straight from my heart…..
And Like takin tha X you give me tha chills……..
I love tha way you walk talk and tha way yur soft skin feels…….
Deals wit a lot how much more can I take……….
All my love for you and aint none of it fake…..
So Believe me when I tell you this……
When I’m gone yur tha girl I miss….

you need to leave 3 names or 3 links man to feedback you left to other people or this will get deleted...

But I thought this was pretty good man.....the flow was alright to this, i was feeling it...structure was alright as well....the content in this piece was pretty good i thought....vocab was good too....overall this was a good piece i thought, good read...keep at it and keep dropping.

ohhh here are tha 3 i left feedback on "million miles" "Writing to Outside" and "Opinions Needed"

ehhhh

not much to say

you coulda put alot more into this
idk i just didnt feel it to much but your girl
will like ti though

thanks fo tha feedback uppn.............................................. .....................

yo i think this was a decent piece not bad prolly could of had more emotion but overall decent piece keep elevating

Hella sic 2-rich i was fellin it, the "cupids arrow" part made me laugh but i don't know if it really belongs good post fo sho though keep post want to hear the next verses two, holla back

Yo u good u know. I would've been feelin dat same way a few days ago. But my girl mad at me cuz her ex found out we fucked. And me and her ex cool we knew each otha b4 her. and how she gon get mad at me cuz he found out wut we did. Fuck it man. Anyway dis was a aight piece I'm hopin to see da complete song.

thanks man^^^^^^^^^^uppn...