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-   -   My World (through my eyes) (http://community.rapverse.com/showthread.php?t=94198)

KeMy$t 11-25-03 12:39 AM

My World (through my eyes)
 
first off i gave feedback to Masta C, 2rich, and emerge so thats those and here we go

Construct my minds eyes in rhymes from time to time
Can't fight nines with lines but I fight for mine
Sit inside and cry waiting to die but a sigh of relief as i breath
Cuz I conseive dreams as reality and reality as dreams
Paper tears dispair from here to there without a care
Where a breath of fresh air is a scare to a pair of stares
From the cornea of a man who takes a stand
Hand in hand is the band of people lost in sand
Sink in deep to the steeping feet of the legends that creep
Inside children that weep in their sleep from the sound of my beat
In an inferno of heat from defeat of my feat - ure
In a cure of pure minds that collide when they find
Psychoactivity in a sign from my rhyme in a line
Pain of acrylic in my name is slain
By the pounding of rain on my vein, its insane to my brain
Acidic is my mind in a minute, I forget it
Cuz my past memories are aquited when I spit it

This world tests me each and everyday
So I spray my words as I pray, searching for a better day
To say that I've changed in a positive way from yesterday to 2day
But then comes a frost that leaves me frozen and lost
In a tundra of plains where snowfall rains from the sky
As beautiful minds wither and die from the night
And even when we see the light its lost despite consequences
That rip apart the epidermal skin that uncovers the soul within
But then again, sometimes we see things not seen to a typical eye
Thats never seen tears cry or seen parents lie as someones about to die
I ask why? Are we here to satisfy the needs of a higher being
That contemplates dreams and mortal screams to you and me
But who are we? Why can we judge a man that takes a unique stand
In this world of pretend that stops at the end and dismembers typrical thoughts
Of what rots and whot does not, I spot a light
At the end of a tunnel that funnels down to a point where a joint connection is connected
And invented by a mind that finds a sign in rhymes
Defaced is death in the wake of my tired breath
When nothin but words are left in disrespect for your death
-KeMy$t

its so hard to show the flow of this by lines but its pretty fast hopeufully u get the point. Lets get some feedback people.

A.T. 11-25-03 12:03 PM

nice drop here... your flow was good... your vocab was good as well... mainly you need to work on ya structure... other than that,
just keep droppin dawgy...

A.T. 11-25-03 12:04 PM

oh yeah, what ever happened with our open mic, didnt I pm my
verse to ya??? hit me back wit a pm.
~AshY~

Funn 11-25-03 12:12 PM

Nice work, good vocab an structure... good read 8/10, suprised I ain't heard of you before???

UnParalled 11-25-03 12:28 PM

Not a bad drop,....flow was decent.....You stayed on subject......Although As I've said once before....I've seen waayy to many subjects like this already.....but this drop was still good....

KeMy$t 11-25-03 01:32 PM

thanx for all the feedback lets get some more

DAARK 11-25-03 01:38 PM

wat?? I guess U feel like tha man nah huh?? U got a pale faced muthafucka and a newb givin U feed back LOL.....but aye....dat was some good shyt right there.......Fuck anyone who got a prob wit my shyt..jus get at me in tha one on one section!!

KeMy$t 11-25-03 01:42 PM

um ok man watever ya hmm dont know wat ur talkin bout but ok are u tryin to call me out to battle or what

KeMy$t 11-25-03 03:34 PM

uppin this to the top

AmanRaH 11-25-03 05:41 PM

That's was pretty chuck my man real deep. Far out homie

KeMy$t 11-25-03 05:43 PM

uppin

KeMy$t 11-25-03 06:28 PM

if u read this then reply aight peace

KeMy$t 11-26-03 12:24 PM

uppin

Handcuffs 11-26-03 02:01 PM

i caught the flow right off
to me it didn't seem like you stayed on topic very well
i didn't even know what the topic was
it was pretty good though
7/10

KeMy$t 11-26-03 05:02 PM

topic is my world things i see in random thoughts and all the things that creep inside of me thats it straight from my twisted soul thanx for the feedback tho lets get some more


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