RapVerse.com Community

RapVerse.com Community (http://community.rapverse.com/index.php)
-   Poetic Scriptures (http://community.rapverse.com/forumdisplay.php?f=9)
-   -   newest and latest (http://community.rapverse.com/showthread.php?t=94234)

Shadowsk8er 11-25-03 10:06 AM

newest and latest
 
it was a dark night
mom drunk ready to fight
stepdad came in smellin like beer
u could feel the tension in the air
then right before my eyes it happened
my mom started snappin
then came his fist from the right
words cant describe how i felt that night
he was a marine six foot five
she was a woman 5 foot and barely alive
i held her in my arms untill she lost sight
while he escaped into the night
only to return the next week
only apologies he could speak
so she took him back without a second thought
right then she tied her own knot
he left her there to die
words cant account for the hate I felt inside
so i put a blade to his gut
said what
then i gave him a six inch cut
as i watched him bleed
he began to choke her on her knee
so i hit him in the head with a pool cue
these words aint fictatious "Steve I hate you"
now at long last ill never see him again
but if i do ill start what i began

:shoot:

DthsMissingAngel 11-25-03 02:27 PM

Wow, this has madd emotion. I was definitely feelin this. Everything was good on this. The only thing, not too many are gonna respond to yours, dats cause u havent responded to anyone else. The key to it is to respond to more ppl and u should get more responses. But newayz, back to this. I thought it was good. Emotion, flow, structure, everything. Overall good job. Keep it up. Much respect.

uraddiction 11-25-03 02:59 PM

great poem ton of emotion runn through this the flow and the structure was good overall pritty good. keep up the good work and please respond to others


All times are GMT -4. The time now is 07:43 AM.