[week6] contendorship match..3. Rob D (3-0) vs 4. Skiddz (3-0)
 

topic: Watched Over

due: dec 1st
voting ends: dec 5th

rematch??
LoL...Oh well, here we go again.
I'm gonna have to pull another verse out my ass for this win(I hope)
In..whats the rules deacon?

In.....

Good luck (again) lol...

contendorship match...we gettin some recognition at last :)

Watched Over

eyes scan her sleeping physique,
stroke hair,plant a kiss on her cheek,
slightly stirs,but remains undisturbed,
utters words,not clear enough 2 be heard,
time stands still,as she lays so peaceful,
comfortable feeling,happiness unequalled,
two people...stuck in the perfect moment,
fit together,holding each bodily component,
through the window,the morning sun shines,
her face glows,highlighting single lines,
picture discribe more than 1000 words could,
no amount...could make my love understood,
through problems,ill recall this image to mind,
a fault within her,is impossible to find,
thank god shes mine,our two hearts combined,
a brilliant example,the word soulmate defined,
breakfast in bed...made just to show her,
the love i discovered...as i watched over,

I lay still, my mind's infected by a virus of thought
I looked in the dark, for the answers I have sought
Finding demons running endlessly, the evil in parades
Noise all over, evil is silent, like they playing charades
How could one hide, one so innocent yet is just grasped
By the evils in society, mind is confronted, until at last
You can't take it much longer, yet there are places to stay
My child, I have seen you walking in the darkness of day
Because the day is filled with so much hate, anger and rage
Your character is developing and "All the World's A Stage"
Being exposed so early and we might find to have a villain
Maybe there's more to your life, then the innocence is revealing
Try to understand, your far from being alone in this world
Your pissed, but you still have a place, you know where
Only men can raise men, and I still have yet to grow up
But I'm here for you, and your also teaching me new stuff...

I, your father, have you as reason to live longer
Trying to give you what I didn't have...
Somebody who has you to watch over.

Rob D- I liked your verse, simple flow, But a good choice on where to take this topic. Vocab was straight, didnt over do it. It had god imagery. I like emotion being put into flows, so that is another up. You could have used better description of what you where doing, rather than just the ladie and her surroundings, I liked this drop though hommie, good work... 6.5 - 7.0 / 10

Skiddz- I wasnt feeling where you took the topic. At certain points you kinda fell of the flow. You had a simple rhyme scheme, and I wasnt feeling the imagery very much. I know you can do better, this just wasnt your best. You could use more vocab, cause the length of your lines are on point. I just feel you need to fin out what to put in between that space. Keep the elevation hommie... 5 / 10

Vote - Rob D

Nice Drops...

OUT

-High Class a.k.a Confusion

Ima Have To Agree Wit Tha Kid This Time..

Rob..
Very Simple Flow, Got Right To The point, I Liked That..
You Fell Off Torwards The End, So Its Good Where You
Ended It.. Not Much You Could Do With The Topic So The
Creativity Really Wasn't All That Present. Overall, Not Bad

SkiddZ..
Seen Better Kid. You Were Too Long Here.. Shorten Them
Lines Down Mayne. Make It Simple n' To The Point..
Sumtimes Your Flow Got Off Base, WHich Mis-lead Over
Your Verse.. The Overall Concept Was Sumwhat Blah..

Vote - Rob D

I'm not trying to sway but all I'm saying is, don't take everything in my verse literally, some messages in the lines are implied, just a note for future voters, I should've posted it on my piece.

Nice battle...expected more from a contnedorship match

Your character is developing and "All the World's A Stage"
^Loved that line (dunno why i just did)

Skiddz. i've seen better, but your verse was aigh
a dofferent approach to the topic...a nice concept
Flow was solid, imagery was good...a mediocre level
of creativity...

Rob.D. I liked it, Simplistic flow to a thinking piece
your scheme was nice, and filled it with imagery
Creativity was good and a nice approach to the concept

Close...but Rob.D was one step up on most aspects

V. Rob.D

Gonna have to throw my vote to Rob Van Dam or whoever...

That was just a very cool, very sweet rhyme.
Simple as all get out. True, true.
But the message was deep as fuck, you provided good imagery, and you laid down shit I could relate to.
I love watching my wife sleep.
It's true, when they're asleep, they have no flaws...
But when they wake up, woah!

Skiddz...

As a dad, I can also relate to your verse.
But, something about this just lacked.
Maybe it was imagery, maybe it was message.
I'm not sure.
Nice advice to ya kid and shit...
Just wasn't feelin it like I was the other.

Peace

Rob D --- that shit was sick ,, "you made me think of when i was in rome with my girl" nice drop i felt your flow and your story --short but it had to be to win

skidds ,, i bounced on your flow and had to backtrack but sick vocab an story ---

close match


vote RoB D

shall i even vote.. Rob Won if so
yet, this wasn't really all that i wanted out of
a contendorship match.. kinda see why sureal
n' all dem left.. not hating because ya verses
were good, just not really heavy weight material
to me. I'd like to see Aus go back for the title
deacon, n' maven.. those type a heads are the
ones you should be going up against.. but all
in all not a bad match here.. dont let us down
in tha title match rob.

vote - rob d

Wasn't such a hott contendorship match.

Rob D - verse was good but u coulda taken
a more creative approach to the subject.
The love thing is gettin real old bout now.

Skiddz - Topicals are still rap. Not poetry.
Your rhyme scheme was ehhhh... the whole
piece seemed like u weren't quite in tune
with what u were writing. Decent piece just
not quite the level.

vote - Rob D

PS: Vote on the Championship battle: Mystery Vs. Mad Man

skiddz didnt come as dope as usual
his flow, vocab and structure was off
and I wasnt feeling his take on the topic
as much as Rob D's
he kept it simple and also included some dope imagery
and had a well told story
Vote - Rob D

nice battle skiddz, and yeah ill try my best next week in the title match.

*ill edit my votes in here when i get time to vote tomorrow.