My Everyday
 

mind full of demons// wakin to the sound of my peers screamin , in pain// but was it in vain// enter into the mind frame of a THUG - life livin one slug at a time// niggas heartless, slangin semiz to downsize on ya last breat// while watchin ya momz heart capsize in her chest// this life we lead is full of pain// tear drops and closed caskets drivin me insane, but to you its still just a game// this is my everyday, on one knee to god i pray for a miracle// neva do i see anything MYSTICAL , cuz im still smokin// retaliation after funerals, emptying clips and reloadin// scoldin these kids, yo dont do what i did// grow accustom to the rap game, and sho ya mob how to make it big// my mob was deep til we laid mobley six feet// no discusions just concusions, on the street we dont even speak// and to tha niggas there, who still care for me// my kin folk and brothaz that never let me get lonely// you wiped tha tears of suicide from my eyes, plenty of times// so west side til I die, much love, forever will we ride/// this is my everyday..........



yo this is just a warm up its been a minute since i did this......... oh and i replied to :

FutureDreams-High class

1 I fought of time ago-Tax

Cant let you go-Masta C


peace

aight...overall a pretty good drop...ur structure needs to be fixed badly.....but u had a nice flow...nice vocabulary....good emotions....i can tell ur still rusty at this..but it's good to see u posting again...some parts of this didn't make too much sense...but here's the part that i liked the most...

^^even though anyone reading this did not know Mobley...he was tru...nice work and reference to real life....

BREAKDOWN
Multis - Very Good
Structure - Ok
Metas - Good
Creativity - Good
RhymeScheme - Good (lost me in some parts)
Vocab - Very Good
Flow - Excellent
Originality - Very Good
Emotion - Very Good
Overall - a nice drop....u had a good flow...good vocab....nice wording in some parts...others lost me...other than that...nothing else to say except fix up ur structure and u got it...

Rating
7/10

peace
4:20

thanx for the feed back nig........ yo uppin give me sommoe

yea this drop was pretty nice...flowed nice....had a tupacish flow...the rhymes were pretty basic but not too simple....nice for the topic....the emotion was pretty good...and the shit u said about mob was a nice personal thing....u need to work on ur structure tho but fuck it's text so who cares? lol..

peace

This was Real Nice... You On Your way ..... Keep @ it Kid!

yo thanx for tha feed back............ keep it comin

peace

yo............ only three? damn i know im new but dont sleep me out

peace

I really enjoyed this, a little tweaking of structure and practice just to fine tune shit and you'll be there man. Nice drop.