RapVerse.com Community

RapVerse.com Community (http://community.rapverse.com/index.php)
-   Poetic Scriptures (http://community.rapverse.com/forumdisplay.php?f=9)
-   -   thoughts (http://community.rapverse.com/showthread.php?t=94537)

menolin 11-26-03 10:55 AM

thoughts
 
This is what is going through my mind at the moment when i wrote this!!!

memories, emblazed in mind like the burning of an ember,
pain, causing confusion, asking why did certain things happen,
love, is something that the feeling is never overpowered,
regret, is felt after the wrong doing of an living thing,
co-ordination, with a friend takes away both peoples individuality,
divides, create two sides of a story, when a breathing creature,
confusion, is something that none of us can perfectly deifine,
trust, is something imaginary a word which can be broken by most
trouble, never comes in a small dose, only in large quantitys,

menolin 11-26-03 05:57 PM

uppin for feedback y'all

Dadi Kewl 11-26-03 06:12 PM

mmmmmm not feelin the concept....
and some of the lines werent connecting aswell as they could..
But......your feeling of that time was clear...
I felt you were at a cross road's just pondering lifes
Glitches and Sub divisions.....i nice little insghtfull look
into a potentially good Poet

Keep writing

Pz.

DthsMissingAngel 11-26-03 09:07 PM

Nice. Structure was a lil off, kinda mad the flow a lil weird too. I like the concept of it, and this is a good way to get ur thoughts out.

trust, is something imaginary a word which can be broken by most
trouble, never comes in a small dose, only in large quantitys
^these were my fav lines, and yet they are soo true. The two things that im basically happen to me, so i can relate.

Overall good job. Keep it up. respect

It 11-26-03 11:32 PM

yo i thought it was tight
dont matter if it wasnt the best
it just matters that u tried dogg
))))))))))))(((((((((((((((((((((((((()))))))))))) )))))))))))((((((((((((((((()(


All times are GMT -4. The time now is 07:19 AM.