If you Cared...*
 

You been the only person in my life I been able to trust,
How'd your love just dissappear, go to her, and readjust?
We were so in love, I was drowning in our feelings for one another,
There were so many things about each other we had left to discover,
Tell me why you don't love me, what could have I done wrong?
I felt like it was in your arms that was the only place I belonged..
You were like an angel god sent to me from the heavens above,
You was the only one I could see myself settling down to with love,
You always said how much you loved me, and how much you cared,
If you cared so fucking much how come you aint still there?
Layin next to me in bed, its an empty space, look over and dont see your face,
I need you.. I'm walkin around without you, like a zombie, I feel outta place,
Every step I take without you pushes me further towards my open grave,
The only place to be with you is in my heart, and thats where the memories are saved.

Nice approach to an unoriginal concept
you used a simple A-B rhyme scheme.....maybe trying....ABAC
would've added some diversity.....But

I like what you were getting across...you have either been through or been a close witness of it....The feeling and expression
is very direct, and i knew how you felt str8 away rather than
having to figure it out.....

Lovely piece

Pz

Great piece gurl. Lots of emotion and i felt it all. Seems like we do go throu the same shit. Believe me, i kno how it feels, and i guess ya kno that. Thanks for all ur support throu all this. Newayz, back to this...great job. Didnt see anything wrong with it. Flow and scheme were good. keep it up. Most respect.

This was good emotion and had no flaws. Same thing that my g/f went thou wit me. I love her to death and i'ma make sure i never loose her again. Back to ur poem, it's great, Spect, JT

^Lol Off topic much? :p.. its straight tho.. goodlook pa.. u betta not fuck up wit ya girl now, na mean? :D

We were so in love, I was drowning in our feelings for one another,

That line, I really dug that line. Something about the imagry of drowning in feelings.

Anway, this was an overall emotional drop that I can really feel to be touching. And I'm very glad that I read it, because this is just one of those things that a person can feel even if they aint never been in such a situation.