Corrupted Visions:Shadows
 

replied to:

http://www.rapbattles.com/forum/sho...3136#post943136

http://www.rapbattles.com/forum/sho...3139#post943139

http://www.rapbattles.com/forum/sho...3142#post943142


Corrupted Visions: Shadows.................
By Nok - Sacred Scriptures piece

…The shadowy plain casts a dark cast of rain upon my brain…
…Victim of Loss, simple and plain, Evidentially insane…
…Unclear in the darkness of what’s plain to see or not…
…All I see is the lifeless shadow of my baby in it’s cot…
…Imprints of the dark vision begin to stain my mind…
…Lookin for anything to ease the pain, I try to find…
…Someone to help me, all I can do is sit and hope…
…While I watch my sons life fade away, just like smoke…
…Watch his soul begin to rise, how can this shit be?...
…God’s takin away my little boy, the mini-me…
…Supposed to fill my dreams little ‘en make Daddy proud…
…Now to talk to you have to look up at the clouds…
…Up in heaven now I guess, lookin down at my mistakes…
…I know your still here at time,The shadowy figure at my gates…
…Watchin over me…lookin after like I should be doin’ you…
…But even now we together,sub-consciously I know this thru n thru…
…Shadows play tricks on me…Still believe I can see U at Ur death…
…”Day-Dreams” become Nightmares,There’s no signs of breath…
…The lifeless Vision stains my eyelids, close my eyes,I go Crazy…
…Alll I wanna do is perish…So I can too be with my baby…

yeah man i liked it , some nice little multis thrown in, flow was good for the most fell off once or twice but hell thats fuck all.....concept wasn't bad....some nice imagery.....all in all decent shit.....Pz

I liked this a lot.
The flow was really good and I like the structure with the ...fhlsjfi...
You were creative on a subject which is real for so many people but to improve it more vocab could have been added aswell as more multies.
Overall - 7/10

IT WAS DEF A GR8T DROP ALL FACTORS INCLUDED I CANT WAIT TO SEE MORE

great drop man you had some good imergery and sence of realness in this piece great wordplay and creativity keep it up pz

Yeah i agree this was a real nice drop....made a good read i thought...your structure on this was real nice....i liked the multies in this, they were pretty good...the content in this was real nice as well...overall it was a good drop....keep at it.