bitches
 

replys:
"I close my eyes"by.Mental God
"Again"by.1st to wreck
"ex[ft/rule]"by.RythmicTendicies

The thought of my life just makes me sick and its painful/
Its thanksgiving here , I tried my very best to be thankful/
But when your life is fucked up like mine /
Its hard to be kind , And act like everything is fine/
My moms a druck Im a lyrical fucked up punk/
My big bro is a drug dealer who thinks hes a hunk/
My little bro is sick getting worse everyday/
Theres no way we can pay those doctor bills today/
Its scary to live everyday like I do /
My stepdad socked me so I socked him to/
My moms trien to kick me out im only 14/
I couldnt hear that well and my sight aint keen/
My life is a fucked up life that I try to live/
A life were I never get when I give/
Sometimes I just wanna end it in a snap/
Im afraid that if I die my family will clap/
I dont want my life to get worse /
I think my life is just a curse/

^not all true^

^^^^^lmfao^^^^^

he said it's not all true... lmfao... yeah kid... good spit

ya flow was a lil ishy in some spots the verse over all was still good dunny... ya structure is ishy but hey i enjoyed ya spit... i'm on a rampage today ... i'm so bored peepin peep's mic's... ... but dunny... ya game is there...

YOu just gotta get it over here.. (if u get that)... good spit

keep elevatin... on3

You need to leave 3 links or 3 names of people you left feedback to or this will get deleted..

But this was alright...structure was ok, could be better, try making your lines around the same length though so they are all different lengths...vocab was ok, should be up'd a little though...add some multies to help the flow out and to make it better....overall this was ok...keep at it.

The thing that stood out in this piece was the emotion, as everything else was lacking.

Your ideas were fairly simple, not complex wordplay or anything.. but one question.. you said not all of it's true, then why spit it? It just gives me the impression you're fake, and trying to be something you're not.. be truthful when dropping.

Just keep elevating and writing, pz.