Night Time sorrow
 

I
Open my eyes to see the life
My
Pain is released through the slice of the knife
Everything
Is wrong nothing is right
Tonight
Is the darkest night

I
Cry a thousand tears for every year
My
Blood is thick and reeks of fear
Everything
Scares me I can’t be strong
Tonight
Is the night when all went wrong

I
Close my eyes to shield the inhuman proposal
My
Undecided fate lies at my disposal
Everything
Is on the balance
Tonight
Is filled with lying, drugs, and violence

I
Close my eyes, no more pain
My
Only hope is what keeps me sane
Everything
Is right as long as the needle hits the vein
Tonight
My dreams are circling the drain

I
Wake to the birds and the morning sun
My
Only thought is what have I done?
Everything
Is calm but tension remains there
Tonight..
Again ill slip on that mask that I wear

I'm really suprised no one responded to this yet. It's a really good writing. I liked the topic. Was this the person's first time trying drugs?

"I
Close my eyes to shield the inhuman proposal
My
Undecided fate lies at my disposal
Everything
Is on the balance
Tonight
Is filled with lying, drugs, and violence"

That right there made me think so. Or maybe the guy just has a big decision on his mind weighing him down that leads to him taking drugs?

The way it was structured gives me a lot of respect for you as a writer. You had it so that "I, My, Everything, Tonight" was in each stanza everyother line. It's hard to write and get all your stuff on paper clearly, for me at least. But to have a structure like that and say everything you want? Real nice.

I don't know what else to say except keep on writing and posting them up. You have a talent.

It has to do with a Mans sturggle to maintain hope and stay strong whenever things are goin wrong and how he uses drugs to help maintian, but also how this drug rules his life

I
Close my eyes, no more pain
My
Only hope is what keeps me sane
Everything
Is right as long as the needle hits the vein
Tonight
My dreams are circling the drain


"Everything is right as long as the needle hits the vein"
(the refrence to the fact that all is wrong untill he uses that drug and gets his fix but he knows its doing him no good but thats all he has..)

I
Wake to the birds and the morning sun
My
Only thought is what have I done?
Everything
Is calm but tension remains there
Tonight..
Again ill slip on that mask that I wear


^this is a refrence to the fact that he wakes up to a new beggining but all his problems are still there

"Tonight...again ill slip on that mask that I wear"
(he will be back to the drug again, Mask- the drug..)

thanks for the feedback..i get slept on alot but hey what can ya do...im just glad someone enjoys my peices

all of my writting has hidden messages and is true to me, i write what i know and i write from my heart...

Peace

Uppin for some replies

I like that one too. I hafta say you've made em a fan of your work. I especially like the reapeatings in this poem too. *sigh* its people like you who make me wish I was a poet...

Thank you im very honored...

and its people like you that make me want to write =)

honestly i never read a poem that would move me away from drugs as much as this one does...good word...it was in my honest opinion a very great poem to alert ppl of wat the drugs could do to a person and take everything he/she has...

great piece

peace

checkout and drop an honest feed back on Racisam

i like the way your verse balances itself out...nicely written piece...................................takin up space to make the character limit...

Its not more or less a anti drug peice

i support drug use such as pot and hullaceginic drugs to expand my mind and see life in a diffrent way

its more a peice about making it through life and tryin to find the light at the end of the tunnel

but ya it has does talk about hard drug use, such as heroin and coke...i have seen many friends becomes slaves to these drugs and i wrote this after hangin with some of them for a while one night...

thx for the feed back