Troubled Genes
 

From age 10..
I knew I'd have to fend for My Own
I'd pretend..
That I was a prince on a High Thrown
But really my life was.. Thrown High
I'd comb my.. rebelling hair straight to make
An impression compelling to awake my fait
To not be a nobody
Or think yeah.. 'My buddys Know'
I Am A Somebody..
But I have to breath with lungs bloody
This life wasn't strung lovely like harps
That cought my heart..In the fairy tales
Its Scary As Hell,
When parents get lary when I Fail
Nobody was there to help me.. Pervail
Now i'm looking like trouble with torn jeans
The mourns been
At only fourteen
I scorned me.. to become ghosted
Now death is brung closest
With nobody able to hurt me now
Apart from these Merky Clouds
Thats heard aloud.. in my head
'Bring Thy Cred'
I'm suffering from past times in the present
Its unpleasant.. My english is like pheasants
Every peasant.. Wants it to be shot
You feel like your family trees.. Top
But then your the.. Family Tree Top
But then have to amaciably stop
The duration of the next generation
Being hexed with devastation..
So with all these troubles on my shoulders
I've Met-Tall relationships like solders
I may just sink.. Or be walking on water
While Po keeps on talking these mortars
I just have to find why beautys getting shorter
Like coral.. I suppose the moral of this is
That i'm motherfucking british..

good good yeah i'm feelin this dawg good idea good story telling skillz keep this shit up mayn 1

I must have you speechless or something!?

Links

http://rapbattles.com/forum/showthr...0616#post950616

http://rapbattles.com/forum/showthr...&threadid=95473

dammit potent! 3 links!
you're driving me insane, dood.

good piece......good vocab...........7.5/10

http://www.rapbattles.com/forum/sho...0737#post950737

^ there you go mave.. sorry about that man, I just like playing with you.. lmfao

Geez.. The replies aren't half fucking long, Also the detail is amazing.. lmfao

Up..

maven man... shit go easy on peeps... why 3... 2 is still good, not like he sleepin' on peeps./.. lol...

fo-real, u elevated ... nice flow, structure still need a bit of work, but that's a personal elevation thing not something that can really be advised on... the story stayed on topic some pretty clever wordplay, an' mad vocab 2... overall it was good.. not great, but what is.. stay up, stay elevating..1

Nice piece..lots of metaphors inwhich i always enjoy...the ending line kinda threw me off`but i really enjoyed the way you were questioning yourself worth...i also enjoyed the style of writing..it had a different feel to it..
nice piece


-1-

I liked this piece a lot man. .

The flow was good, for the most part. . The structure made it really easy for me to pick up on the flow from the beginning, keeping me reading on and on. .
I loved the topic. . I've seen it be done before, but you flipped the concept very nicely, making it a good read.
Lyrically, this piece was nice. . Liked the family tree line, and various others, but that was my favorite.

Overall, this was very good, I look forward to reading more by you. . stay up.

Very Very Nice It Flowed Very Nicely Yeah Like Kredit Said It Was A Good Topic And I Dint Get Bored Of It I Wish I Could Write Like This . *Crys* Be MY GHOSTWRITER !!!!!! LoL Jk

Nice Peace

1

Thanx.. Up