*SiC & TiR'D* (something quik)
 

LIKE I SAID...NOTHIN GREAT SOMETHING QUIK....


chorus*
im tired of hearin all this shit
i did wat i did, so i dont even wanna hear it
its done and over i quit 2 clear it
im not scared of u, so ur bullshit.. y fear it




all bullshit all of thoze fuckers should die
man they say im a player all them worse then i
everybody sees this but the ppl who need-2
they flirt and talk bad bout u went they dont see-u
im there 2 compare wats true or juss unfair
caution alerts me b4 theze punks juss try and hurt-me
im tired and its somethin that ive been stuck 2 deal-wit
im held back,i get bullshit im gonna die,i can feel it
they was piss'd so they blew dis out of preportion
this drama cuz of me,wish i was a patient 2 a child abortion
it sickning,the pain they be inflictin,still complainin and contridicting
i think there scared,might not be big but im a threat
i bet i can piss them off,and mabe scare them 2 sweat
cuz they havent liked me since da day we met
u think u won, shit this shit aint even settl'd yet
how can u tell me im forbiddin from the two
i got shit on u, fuck if only u knew
man u and ur life ur definetly not charming
wen they come 2 me, u better have seen it coming cuz it wont be alarming
tellin me who 2 date and who i cant see-no-more
they're urs now but once they see they wont be-no-more
i laugh at u, cuz wat u say doesnt even make sense
ur a fake, and ur nothin special, but thats juss my 2 cents
u kno ur fuck'd wen im wit ur chix more then YOU
ya i dont care bout u or wat u say u gonna do
ur juss plain old bullshit and needs 2 go 2 hell
i see wat ya do, and i know exactly who 2 tell
but i aint gonna play ur game and be like u
u wanna fight me, wow feel proud, cuz id probably fight u 2
id lose but id prove 2 u im not scared of a pussy like u
say wat u want and hear wat u want cuz im gettin out
its 2 hard 2 keeping seeing and hearing things i already know about
id sell my thoughts so i can forget my past
cuz i have pain 2 hurt me that will 4ever last
watever life is not perfect in ne ways specially 4 me
i quit its done,i scribble it out and want it over all becuz i want it 2 be


chorus*
i walk away wit nothin but relief
cuz i kno shit they wont even believe
leave get of my dick u both ass-holes
if i was u and seen them..id juss pass-thoze
im sick and tired of wat everbody thinks they know
all they do is lecture me wen i got nothin 2 show

hmm your rhyme scheme could use a little more work but the topic made sense and you were consistant with the topic and i could relate to alot of the things u were saying in the flow.. just elevate your rhyme scheme ...throw some multies in the mutha fucca and i think you'd be doing some good justice to open mic

keyo that was a solid interpritation of constructiv critisizm and accurate.
just elivate yourseolfmore read your work and see if you cxan alterate anyof it to more complex and better dlivery style rapping.

You need to leave your 3 names or 3 links of people you left feedback in or this will get deleted...

But this was alright man...structure could use a bit of work but it was alright, just try making your lines around the same length and it will be better....your chorus was alright i thought.....flow in this was good overall as well.....overall this was alright...keep at it.

word, reply to three open mics, and post links to your replies in this thread or it gets deleted.
thanks.