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Defiance in a Gantry---End part Done
My Innovention is in Detention..Preventing my Progress .........................Holding Back my Invention blocked out circumference waiting to gain a foothold... ...to a life defiant to conference,held up and left bold but i told the keeper of this Urgence to pack up N quit... ...b/coz the only time i prospered..i couldn't face it tried to make it..but i was left high and dry, victimised... ...my lifes so played out it could be re-rolled N dramatised so visualize..an incentive where i do nothing but petition... ...hopin that the case am against jus reverses its decision its an incision..straight into my soul n clearly grabs Ahold... ...oh everything thats pure..but i try to break the mold and that is why I defy all things that go good for Myself... ...i can't handle succession so i quickly put it on the shelf w/ stealth...i inconspicuosly rip all my feelings apart... ...getting angered to the edge,like a d-tone in Mozart like a horse and cart...one w/out the other is a grave Formality there it is now you've guessed it,i've got a split Personality To Be Cont........ Reality?? Its a fools Game, but I gotta Play it Anemic Flows of Adulterated Personalities..Fighting Limb for Limb ...if this ended in Shallow Waters then None of us could Swim only one can Live..Survive of its Own N Infactuate a Normal life ...this can't be a Pipe Dream..its a Reality jus away from Strife rippin one Ego to the Next...bangin his Head on Concrete Walls Die little Fucker..Ima Smash you up till theres no of you at All Stop this at once..if you Perish me..then you Gonna Kill Yourself see that doesn't Bother me..jus as Long as I have my Health Don't you Understand?? Metamorphisis will not Exist after This but just seeing you Tainted..is Alter Ego's Psychodinamic Bliss I have to Fight Back?? Help..do I have no Other Choice?? Take this hammer to your Mouth..Ahhh..jus to Mute ya Voice ..that didn't feel Good..My head feels Hazy..time to go to Sleep Uh?!...Fuck..I didnt this would lead to us Both Ending in Defeat Game Over... ..........................Nuttin in life can End Good Unless you make it how you see it............. |
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not a bad drop. it was easy to follow. flowed well. nice use of vocab. had some multis in there. be careful tho with the multis because sometimes you get too caught up on em and your overall peice looses its meening/point or focus. but you pulled it off well. good stuff
favorite line - ...getting angered to the edge,like a d-tone in Mozart |
aight thanx for the feedbk..your right bout multis thats why i dint go mad w/ them..leave them mostly for battles pz
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I AGREE BUT THE FACT IS YOU CAME CLOSE BUT DIDNT LOOSE MEANING THAT TAKES TALENT...I THINK GIVE A COUPLE POSTS TO GET GOOD WITHT HE TYPING SHIT AND YOU WILL HAVBE PACKED
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Man, that was awesome! You make it so obvious you have such a large vocabluray. Some of those words you use, I need a dictionary just to find out what they mean.lol.
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uppin
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..Nice...excellent vocab..good content..good flow...
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i quite liked this piece form ya...better than the last i read... the complexity was there.....you came good with the content n topic.... the flow fell i think once... but kept for the most....yeah nice drop...pZ twin
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uppin
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i liked thid....gud flow dawg n easy to read wiv gud meaning which was to the point!
gud spit.........7.5/10 will ya check out my open mic....before live.....thanx! |
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Uppin
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