I wrote htis in a battle check it(hott)
 

I wrote this to a dude named glock!

im a lyrical killer and ill fuckin murder yo family with one spit/
You act like you da flame and its lite, You aint shit so quit/
Yea thats what I said "quit" Yea quit ryming cause you suck/
Try to take some lessons fuck (good luck) Illrun you over wit a truck/
My rymes are lyrically hott and yours lyrically wack Watch yo back/
You can take lessons from me and loc and killa b you still couldnt lay down a track /
Oh yea as for that bitch as fucker who likes his mama and dont have a dick/
yea glock, You can lick my stick And suck my girls clit (fuckin bitch that aint an offer)/
I dont like you and i never fuckin will cause your a homo, and Im a homofobic dude/
dont be crude , when you lick yo boyfreinds dick dont be rude , Be in da mood/
Ok "Lilskatenpunk" and fuckin "glock the fag "who licks bag/
Oh yeah man why you such a bitch is you on da rag?/

oh yea notice I didnt capitalize yo name in dis fucked up ryming game //
The reason that happened is cause you suck at freein and im in da hall of fame /
Yea you fuckin homo I think that makes me kinda importin /
Well I could stay but I gotta finish these drugs I been snortin /

Fucker!!


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that was it right there so tell me wut ya thank!

Thanks

You need to leave 3 links or 3 names of people you left feedback to or this will get deleted...

but this was alright i thought...structure could be a bit better, cause you had some stretched out lines, just watch that though...vocab in this was alright, could have been a bit better i thought....flow was ok, try adding more multies and internals to help that out though...but overall this was alright...keep at it.

ok heres my things
replys:
1."Dear God"by.signifakant
2."My voice within..."by.ace of spades
3."What if?"by.High-ku

uhh the verse was simple

the vocab was elementry

the rhyme scheme was basic and the punches seemed forced.

keep postin tho man................................