The Sacrifice
 

Don't Sleep.....

I drink the blood of Christ from a gold cup, Piercing nails through my epidermis until I fold up/
All you see is my torn cape and thorn crown, A pure soul physically corrupted and worn down/
Carrying a wooden cross on my shoulders enduring slight pain, Crucified with broken ribs suffering until the night came/
I look to the stars and silently pray, Whilst evil men roam looking for foes to violently slay/
Gasping for air I feel my sanity capsize, To the point that I can no longer see out of my black eyes/
Cracked wide, About to be amongst Kings and those that died/
In the presence of angels with golden wings, The garden of Eden and the pleasures that folding brings/
But for now I fight this profuse bleeding in my mind, With scientists bidding for my astrology charts leading to this time/
The intricate miasma of my imagination kicks back, Left with my surroundings of unholy beings who flip packs/
The abandoned nation will we win at all, Or has our opportunity for freedom reached it’s pinnacle/
Look at your surroundings everything starts as a thought and is built up, The manifestation of hard work is the key there is no real luck/
About to leave the earth in this vital age, And meet individuals I only know about from a Bible page/
Or might my exultance be destroyed sent into a tidal wave, Stranded in hell as I drop to my knees and enunciate my primal rage/
True dialect in the midst of atrocity, The omen holding court with evil spirits copping pleas/
A marvellous time for prolific inner reflection, About to replenish my flesh as I feel this sinner rejection/
Just this year alone I lost my Grandmother along with countless dead peers, All cried out can no longer afford to shed tears/
My heart goes out to Vietnam Vets who progressed from boot camp, Learnt how to kill for Uncle Sam and move tanks/
Seeking rewards and reparations lumbered with food stamps, Warfare cut and to my acknowledgement the government never proved tax/
I guess what I’m saying is trust yourself everybody else is known for acting trife, And to give your own life with or without a cause is the ultimate sacrifice.

Not my Illest but you gotta feel it

http://www.rapbattles.com/forum/sho...9128#post969128

http://www.rapbattles.com/forum/sho...9137#post969137

http://www.rapbattles.com/forum/sho...9158#post969158

This was alright...i didnt really like the structure though, but it wasnt bad its just the way you layed it out....but you did have some good multies in all your lines, i liked that...flow was alright i thought, got off at a few points...but this was a pretty good piece...keep at it.

very creepy . it was good though except that it went off subject towards the end. If your going for creepy than good job.

dowg i think sumthin wrong wit u on da real.............sike tho u spit dat shit and mad props.....keep spittin








oh and have ur brain looked at...............it just aint right (lol)

good topic point of view

good vocab and word usage

no too bad at all, kee postin up man

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i liked some lines nice concept i just think how you flow'd what u talked about was akward but its cool u on some positive shit

Thanx yall...

i had this peice on my mind from when i was locked up... it was gonna be extra hella longer... but ... i figured i didn't wanna make a movie script for yall to read... but thanx for the love... KEEP UPPIN!

Dang i put ALOT of thought into this peice an i gets no more love???...(major wack*

no feed back??? damn