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3 Audio RB Legends .. Lets Try For A Text, Perhaps?
Well, to be honest. I've had this on the back burner for quite sometime now. This is going to be on my album. (Yes I do actually record!) And I needed some opinions on this. Drop your links, I will reply. Give me a bullshit "this was dope peep mine" reply and I wont even bother. Show me what was good, what wasn't, Etc. Etc.
Thank you in advance. A bit lengthy, but well worth the read. "Every Morning" - Salvation Verse 1: The worst shit always deems to happen, it needs to pass and I seem ecstatic, but inside I hide the pain, where dreams is flattened Will never breathe with ease, never see it, I need it please I'm askin' Beaten, battered, seen as tragic, while my knee's collapsin' But I relate to music, And I hate to spew it But honestly, the pain is ruthless, aint nobody cater to it No great influence, Livin' day to day and send the pain and away and Fate is waitin', for the person to put the shades of grey in I'm sick of given in, aint no point in livin' sense I'm never stitchin' ends together, they merely break and bend from pressure See it's bad it wreaks with havoc, and I seek the answers But my life'll seem to collapse if even the wrong seed is planted Plus the greif'll never vanish, why's this happen to me Stuck in the passanger's seat, right at the back of the fleet I'll keep on movin' eventhough these tears are steady pourin' Two heavy boulders placed upon me when I wake up every mornin' Hook: Every Morning I Wake Up, Just Trying To Breathe Thinking About The Night Before How I Was Crying To Sleep All I Can Do Is Whipe My Eyes And Give A Sigh Of Relief Hoping Tonight Would Be The Night That I Would Die In My Sleep Every Morning I Wake Up, Just Trying To Breathe Thinking About The Night Before How I Was Crying To Sleep All I Can Do Is Whipe My Eyes And Give A Sigh Of Relief Hoping Tonight Would Be The Night That I Would Die In My Sleep Verse 2: I realize I need to focus but see emotions seem to flow in Which is leavin' frozen chills down my spine, It seems as hopeless I need to cope with pain and all, I played the game and lost Strayin' off the trail, it simply crashed my train of thought All my days have gone, death is anxious, I'll rest in graves and My breath vacatin' from my soul, it always seems my neck is breakin' So who's the next to play it, I'm sittin' watchin', a sick concoction Life's a bitch and hardens, sometimes you gotta kick the rocks and Leave it behind, want my piece of the pie I need it, fiendin', knees is weak and got no peace of my mind I keep it confined, emotions stopped and locked in bottles I drown in sorrow, wish I'd be forgot tomorrow But all is swallowed, I don't got no cool to lose it I'ma foolish, stupid, nuisance, have already truly proved it My thoughts'll move elusive, I always trap 'em inside Can't put your finger on it? They linger at the back of my mind Hook: Every Morning I Wake Up, Just Trying To Breathe Thinking About The Night Before How I Was Crying To Sleep All I Can Do Is Whipe My Eyes And Give A Sigh Of Relief Hoping Tonight Would Be The Night That I Would Die In My Sleep Every Morning I Wake Up, Just Trying To Breathe Thinking About The Night Before How I Was Crying To Sleep All I Can Do Is Whipe My Eyes And Give A Sigh Of Relief Hoping Tonight Would Be The Night That I Would Die In My Sleep Verse 3: I know I gotta survive, but all these problems arise And it's a vivid vicious image of the hardest of times I try to swallow the pride, but I choke and spit it up I know this shit is tough, but I hope it's liftin' up So I go to kickin' dust, and keep my chin in the air Then let it fall, I'm whisked away within the thinnest of air I'm sickened and scared, the world we know is twisted today I wanna pack my bags and go away and live in a cave The kid's a disgrace, you're wishin' you could spit in his face You miss the message, shit is hectic, I'll stay missin' for days A different insane, the pain is thick and picks at the brain Picturin' ways to paint a picture on my wrist with a blade I'm slittin' the razor across, and it's bleedin' my life Bleedin' the times, I remember, that would eat me alive Bleedin' all signs of life out, but why's it me I really tried though, eyes close, time to sleep Hook: Every Morning I Wake Up, Just Trying To Breathe Thinking About The Night Before How I Was Crying To Sleep All I Can Do Is Whipe My Eyes And Give A Sigh Of Relief Hoping Tonight Would Be The Night That I Would Die In My Sleep Every Morning I Wake Up, Just Trying To Breathe Thinking About The Night Before How I Was Crying To Sleep All I Can Do Is Whipe My Eyes And Give A Sigh Of Relief Hoping Tonight Would Be The Night That I Would Die In My Sleep |
You need to leave 3 links or 3 names of people you left feedback in or this will get deleted...
But i thought this was pretty good thought...i liked the chorus, it flowed pretty well, as did the whole piece, the flow was pretty much on point through it i thought, well done...vocab was good in this also....You had good multies in here, i liked that....long read but it was worth it...overall good piece here...keep at it. |
my bad. this is the first time i've ever dropped text in probably 2 years.
i'll reply to some other shit. be easy. pz..1 |
Dope.. I was really feeling the content.. I had beats playing while listening to this.. Flowed very nicely.. Up.. I think this was legendry worthy.. Well, yeah, It made me think and smile at the flow. Pz bud
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And now the nut sux starts ..lol^^^
But even if u the queen of england, u need to follow rules = ) Nice collab tho = ) |
^this wasnt a collab, lol.
that was all me. pz..1 |
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Wordness .. flow was very bouncy .. audioesque as i read it .. contenet was nice .. prolly sounds 85794675936 times better to a beat, nice internals, multi's etc .. a good piece sal
http://www.rapbattles.com/forum/sho...&threadid=97233 |
Quote:
Lol My bad = ) Was refferin to the title.. |
Helium.
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This was a great piece duke. . from top to bottom. .
Flow was flawless, had me saying it out loud the whole time, and it never faltered. . The multis made this piece real dope. . Wordplay was nice, too. . wow, the content was just, wow. my favorite lines.. A different insane, the pain is thick and picks at the brain Picturin' ways to paint a picture on my wrist with a blade Damn duke.. can't wait to hear this in audio. -Insert Skeez Comment Here- |
good shit i liked that i thought it was tight flow was good and wordplay and multis were good not really any punches structure was ok overall 6.7/10
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-dies-
6.7/10 and you probably rate a 10 bar battle verse as a 9 or 9.5 I Quit RB. I'm going back to a real board. |
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