quick 14 lines tell me what you think
 

Your lyrics lack the eloquence of musical ability
this is a fucking rap battle and theres no hostility
when the DJ calls out for you as the next rapper
youll be in the back sittin and shittin the crapper
many people in the world question your lyrical comprehension
It's like I don't have to use my fists my rhymes create tension
No matter how broke i go ill never quit spitting
Even if i cant stop shittin and the rooms spinnin
But im a christian so this shits considered sinnin
so forgive me god ill get off this train to downtown
ill just go home , say my prayers and lay down
but before i do i must say you only follow me 'round
you have to steal your lyrics tho theyve never been sound
so get out of the way i cant lay down im headed for downtown

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this is another version of my last freestyle tell me if its better and ya i know i sorta lose it in the middle but tell me everythin rong and good with it ... this is also on eminem.net sn: Krine_Sixty-Nine

You need to leave 3 links or 3 names of people you left feedback in or this will get deleted..

but this was pretty good here, enjoyed it....structure was better in this one...Your vocab in this was real nice i liked that, keep that up...flow was alright got off at some points but still good...could have used some multies in this i thought....but overall this was alright...keep at it.

http://www.rapbattles.com/forum/sho...&threadid=97422
http://www.rapbattles.com/forum/sho...&threadid=96565
http://www.rapbattles.com/forum/sho...&threadid=97403

okay.. well then.. it was very simple vocab.. your flow was alright.. topic was okay.. obvious you just started.. so keep reaching for the stars cuz u cant get them in 7 bars ;)
keep spitting

this was ok
 

i agree! but after you elevate, appreciate the help we gave you coz it will help you. :laugh:

I agree.