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-   -   Corrupted Visions: Untangible Evil (http://community.rapverse.com/showthread.php?t=97437)

Emerge 12-09-03 02:47 AM

Corrupted Visions: Untangible Evil
 
I dropped feed on masta c, formula mc, mk usiki, deva, and camarac




Lord lend a hand end this plan release this demon out of me
My mind is being pirated how can that be?...I’m out of sea!
Full take over I'm a puppet no signs of life...flat line
Wack rhymes fabricated never made it...I lacked prime
The pain swells up my temples, heart pounding on my brain
I swear I've gone Ill mental, IQ is extinguished and slain
Stormy rain but an everlasting drought in terms of producing
An evil nuisance...not addictive...but something many abuses
Blown fuses irreplaceable tools...while it mocks at you
Holding eerie images...penetrating demise...& it locks a few
All veins flaring it's rare in cases but is has caused sleep
It rhyme reaps suffocates you like absent basslines in beats
A domesticated evil manufacturing cessation a pregnant pause
Rendering mind feeble there can't be a cure if there is no cause
Applause from the winning dark side...it's looking good for it
No chance for a heroic stand...nope...not by the looks of it
One last breath I take...as I inflate my chest...heaving
I blindly and wildly attack so fiercely...I aint believing
I fail...my eyes wide open...the look of a fighter shocked
But I realized I just survived...a sudden case of writer's block

Emerge 12-09-03 04:51 AM

uppin for some fucking feedback

Kwizikal P 12-09-03 05:13 AM

replyin some feedbak.......

Good piece,but you did find it hard to find words that rhymed, but hey....ill anyway, jus a lil constructive crit

Dev 12-09-03 06:27 AM

thought ya bar length was good.....flowed nicely, most of it...vocab was good....didnt really captivate me though, the topic....but executed ok...not a bad drop....pZ.......

the_insane_clown 12-09-03 08:25 AM

Quote:
Originally posted by Vylent Stalker
replyin some feedbak.......

Good piece,but you did find it hard to find words that rhymed, but hey....ill anyway, jus a lil constructive crit


fo real

Emerge 12-09-03 03:42 PM

/\those two guys are morons that is exactly how to not drop feed back

Menik 12-09-03 03:53 PM

Yeah this was a pretty good drop here i thought....your structure was good in this, like it always is....your vocab was good as well....Flow in this was alright, stayed on point through out it, kinda lost me at a few points though but nothing real big...You had some good multies....overall good drop....keep at it.

Emerge 12-09-03 06:19 PM

upp

Emcee Murderer 12-09-03 06:29 PM

Nice lil drop here.
Structure was good.
Wordplay and flow was choppy.
I was feelin it though.
I saw some multies used in there.
8/10.
Keep em coming.
Return the favor.

Emerge 12-09-03 08:23 PM

thanks i appreciate it

-uski- 12-09-03 09:33 PM

yo this was a good Piece...Ya Flow was Nice stayed on point most of the way....Ya Structure was Good....The Topic was Nice I thought.....My Name Is MC uski not Mk usiki....Was short but that didn't mind me....the Lines were a Nice Length......All and all a hella good Drop....Peace Kuz (v) Corrupted Visions Represent

-{/]~{Ú§kÍ}~[\}-

Accelerate 12-09-03 09:45 PM

Well...You sure made me look at you as a better topical writer. You have elevated alot. But that was a kinda cheesy ending,lol. You had some good use of vocab, and good complexity, This was a very good piece, very well done.

Emerge 12-09-03 09:48 PM

/\ thanks a lot man...lol i just thought the end would make some people laugh or something haha...feel free to hit up my other open mics if you feel the need;)

Emerge 12-10-03 01:15 AM

upp

Mr.Christensen 12-10-03 01:20 AM

now this was something i didnt expect...
i knew you would end it like that....you have good influences

the imagry here was good, definetly your best aspect...flow was pretty easy to follow

keep up the good work


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