Lose Yourself (remix)
Intro:
look, if u had one shot, or one opportunity to sieze everything u everwanted-one moment wud u capture it or jus let it slip Verse 1: yo, his palms are sweaty, knees weak, arms are heavy theres vomit on his sweater already, moms speghetti hes nervous, but on tha surface he looks calm and ready to drop bombs, but he keeps on forgetting what he wrote down tha whole crowd goes so loud he opens his mouth and tha words wont come out hes choking, how every bodys joking now tha clocks run out, times up over, bloah Gap back to the dimension, snapped back to his detention dont care wut n e body mentions hes been bad, but not enuff to get a suspension no, he wont have it, he knows his school rites but he dont care, he still wants to fight he had his own reasons, and to him hes still rite hes so raged that he knows when he gets back to tha foster home, thats when its back to tha room alone back to writing tha only reap he knows he trys to capture tha moment, that someday he will own Chorus: u better lose urself in tha music, tha moment u own it, u better never let it go u only got one shot do not miss ur chance to blow this opportunity comes once in a lifetime yo u better lose urself in tha music, tha moment u own it, u better never let it go u only got one shot do not miss ur chance to blow this opportunity comes once in a lifetime u better Verse 2: his brain verges a briliant, and he wont b resiliant in this world he stands, he wont b silent he keeps on tryin, to succeed as a star, to make it far a normal life is boring, but to b complex is hard it only gets tougher, more thoughts than imagined he blows minds on how much he knows person to personhe shows, new roots are planted life is slow, but god only knows, how its going to go more obstacles can b standed more rage is bein ranted more problems are bein handed but he still stands tall, ready to take another fall waiting for life to give him his call he waits as time stands still his life is like a report, filled wot remorse but still waiting for lifes main course Chorus: repeat 2x Verse 3: my life aint no game, i dont belong in this cage feel my rage when i end ur days this aint no joke, iwill never change my life isnt ment to be written down on every page but to b filled to tha dullest i live my life but i'nm not a cultist i try frum down to duck, to find luck to make it in life, from one day to another fuckmy father and my mother never met tha bastard and i hate tha bitch but deep down in side, i know i love her i try to show her, but shes to hesitant i try again, and her actions are repetitive but i keep on thinking, i gotta let her live gotta lead to a different alternative or get barred or shot gotta beable to think on tha spot get stopped or popped my future is head my past is not either wayi got, this maybe the only opportunity i got Chorus: repeat 2x thats my version og lose ur self tha first half of verse 1 stayed tha same becuz i felt it shud stay, i felt it had a lot of meaning and then all tha other srtuff besidedss tha chorus imad, suiting my self and my life. feed back apprciated holla pz |
You need to leave 3 links or 3 names of people you left feedback to or this will get closed..
This was alright...structure could be a bit better, try keeping lines around the same length.....flow in this was alright, stayed on point through out it as i read through it....but overall this was ok...keep at it. |
u ever look at eminem printed version of this his bars are almost tha same as mine, they arent even thats how he goes wit tha beat, and wut dou mean 3 links for 3 of wut?
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links of replies u've done to other open mics,
i fort this was good. if its about u then a good biographic piece. keep at it and do wat u gotta do. hit my rhyme http://www.rapbattles.com/forum/sho...&threadid=98014 cheers |
there Masta C 3 names ok
drops-check it drops-bars da chronic G-wuts gonna happen |
now i wud like sum feed back plz holla
pz |
Man ya verse had no flow and no intrestin parts
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u know shit about rap man go fuck ur self.
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Quote:
I'm still waitin to find somethin he didn't reply the same thing to, calm down Masta C, yo this piece was horrible, wasnt worth my readin, i think i may have gotten stupider, next time be orginal, or atleast make up a name, u suhd be hit wiht biting |
naw i felt like redoin a song aight mofo, fuck u shud b hit wit biting, fo biting tha mods dicks bitch
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oh and thats y its says remix hello u fuckin stupid o sum shit
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Uppin for sum comments.
pz |
dont matter, if em didnt give u his own permission to do a remix its biting
hoe. |
kill yourself, you ruined a good song
p.s. close this |
i wasnt feeling this, jus a bad attempt at a good track....theres too much comparison between then...doesnt measure up to the expectations and far to un-original...so ...why not jus think up ya own shit from scratch...no beef...it wasnt all bad though, jus not for me..pZ
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