What am I doing wrong in battles?
 

I keep gettin told to elevate by crews, and by people who vote...
could yall peep these spits and gimme some real feedback....
these are my most recent two spits...


(A.T. vs. Sin) my verse
Man I'm on a role, "Both the titles of my battles speak the truth",
Lets look at "Sin Vs. A.T.", it would be a "sin for me to battle you",
Cause in this case I'd murder you, and God said thou shalt not murder,
I found my religious side n' decided that I would "take Sin no further",
I drop this kid n' not stopin till hes a "splattered pea on the cement",
This kids a "vegetable" cause its the only way he "raps without feeling"
Your verse was "rehearsed" and all of "Jadakid's suspicions were right",(^^^)
Shake the earth till his verse jumps "out the grave and into the hearse with fright",
"Sins a fuckin hypocrite" and I'm shocked yall aint even noticed it till now,
"He talks all friendly with peace, but his names evilily Bible reknowned",
I aint gotta try to black ur eyes cause ur own punches'll do it for me,
Check ur lines kid, Im already "spinless", cause "I attack wit no warning",
See, I gotta "Sinful behavior" and yours is "AT" best, still in basic training,
We should be best of friends or next kin, and maybe get a our "names Changed",
Cause heres another coincidence, "our nick names are same", so were legally cuffed,
Cause I'm "5'8'' and this cats pecker is 2 inches", So who's really the "short stuff"...
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(A.T. vs. Spicy) my verse
A T
Member

Posted: Dec 12, 2003 00:32:43 · Edited by: A T
Quote Edit

Spicy's writting on post-it notes to remember his punches when he posts,
Spicy gettin votes is like Tom catchin Jerry, cuz he'd never come close,
His New York persona's got old, so he even bothered to switch his style,
If Spicy was named da lyrical Prefontaine, he still couldnt go the mile,
Call me Piccasso in this battle rap, Cause I'm ranking above the normal,
He's been portrayed as a veteran cat, so I'm paintin em anotha portrait,
The possiblity of Spicy beating me is only growin slimmer by the moment,
This opponent could eat his name and still not spit out hot components,
I'll strangle your rhymes one line at a time till I start killin off my own,
Spicy couldnt talk beef, even if I let him grill meat wit my cell phone,
Back to da simpler subjects, Spicys flow just didnt bother to come hard,
I could repeat my lines, give em hints, n you still couldnt match my bars,
Spicy and me battlin seems to only produce this redundantly viewed fued,
When dis battle concludes I'd have beat this dude more times than Eminems been sued,


any feed back would help...
~AshY~

shorten the line lenght
thats the only real problem

besides that you just need to come up with better punches and wordplay...that cant be taught

aight... thanks...
uppin

and stop all that massive quoting and that ** shit
only n00bs do that so stop it

YEAH MAN TAKE THOSE "" THINGS OFF IT DISTRACTS THE READER
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OVERALL YOUR SHITS PRETTY LAGIT

when battling read there profile get on them and use it to your advantage, it'll make you a better Emcee.



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Multies always help