(?) sumfin 4 all of you! :)
 

replied to: da_killa_kid, Blunt_mc, double-0 seven



trying to find this evil which feeds me
so i can go hungry, while god cleans me
the air smells so fresh, its like ima blessed
my destiny is to blossom, with out no test
eyes bloodshot, my visions blurry
like an unborn child, my birth wasnt ready
i can tell by my acceptance of any boy who wanna
like a stray chicken, looking for its mumma
bite-in my finger nails, cuz ima too hungry
dancing in the rain, coz to me, thats happy
didnt name this skit, coz i aint gotta name shit
like a candle in the wind, the flame was already lit
but blew out coz the wind was just too strong
i wonder why curch people sing, all there baptist song
aint no piece, when we killing each other, i shed tears
coz this leaf never grew, plus its been here for years

just another rapper, naah i stay silent
outta the light, so i escape the violence
this is why i dont grow, coz i'm so diffrent from the world
peeps look at me at school, an say wat an ugly girl
like a cat with three legs, no1 wants to take it
its the same as the others, but no 1 adores it
so it must suffer in the shadows of denile
is this tha life we leed, where nobody smiles
poetry kinda made me but rap is my life
once i tried to kill myself wit that butchers knife
remenissing the times when kids were on the streets
playing football, an everybody could eat
i must be dreaming coz i never seem 2b happy
god bring back piece, an fuck tha poverty

This was alright i thought...structured this pretty well....you should try adding some multies to this to help it out, i noticed you had some internals in there, keep that up....flow was alright, could be a bit better i thought...vocab in this could be up'd...but keep at it.

yo
 

thanks 4 da reply, uppin!

i thought it was pretty cool..... you should really work on multies and wordplay..... a lot of what you was sayn' made sense and you stayed on topic real well, but try to make it more complex.... it was a good drop, just work on that shit and you will be dope......pz

..decent drop...simple wordplay was alright..I agree with ^ two clowns..work on your multis..peace...