complex= shownin a lil diversity an truth felt like doin somthin different
 

It's so retrograde how we can make hate with the same hearts that love creates,/
forsaken faith is replaced by tainted mindstates driving grace into the flames of burning stakes./
Lately it seems these dreams are ripped at the seams by divine schemes streamed into silent screams/
apocalyptic scenes are beamed at a fragile being to shatter all self-esteem/
Optimistic thoughts drift as I witness my silhouette wither in the distance/
Grim Reaper taking the place of where my shadow once existed./
Corroded emotions hold late night round table meetings courtesy of Camelot garage sales/
unanimous concurrence calls for razorblade waltzes across velvet laced trails/
I resist the piercing kiss and journey into the abyss in search of happiness/
reminiscing on past grins helps my spirit ascend over stress my mind collects/

An intellect erected to digest complex sacred texts and process what's read into present mindset/
the Earth's negligence led my quest for knowledge to Nazareth/
where a blessed messenger welcomed my questions about life and death/
He too knew what it was like to be depressed/
possessed by immense sadness in every thought expressed/
destined since adolescence to spend every second second-guessing your sixth sense/
since no matter what death will always meet you in the end/
I asked Him what He thought about the rough draft to my life's plan/
He just sat back and laughed at the lack of craft in this Icarus flight path I've mapped/
"one day you'll understand that the only sure plan is to adapt."
We continued conversing about the secrets the universe concealed/
"truth is pain and pain is truth truly revealed..."/
every word reaching deeper into my heart's inner regions reeling me in to feel a feeling more than real./
He told me the meaning of life was a life of meaning/
measured not by your achievements but by the memories you breathe in./

His benevolent disposition quickly shifted direction when He explained the reason for teaching me His wisdom/
He took one last glance at the planets and sister stars and handed me the solar system./
Regardless of the honor,I couldn't accept His offer/
I opted for Him to choose someone else to be the next martyr./
He dismissed my lack of commitment and thrust me to where the limelight lit/
my sins were juxtapositioned along the lining of my vision as we switched positions on the crucifix/
winged specimens hammered nine inch nails into my wrists/
and in an instant my last bit of innocence vanished the minute the first thrown stone hit./
The nightmare expired when the Sandman rode the night mare tiredly towards the horizon/
a bright light took over my eyesight striking the fibers in my iris/
I was reunited with the comforting silence of my room as the alarm clock read nine-ish./

Cerebral forces explore my inner core with hopes of decoding this omen/
a mystic figure cloaked in a dark robe guards over the puzzle's last component./
His portrait is superimposed onto my main life-support organ/
fused together to roam through black holes until our time is chosen./
The crown of thorns I've borne forever holds the scorn my soul has worn/
and when the sun's reborn the morning mourns a life form more than torn./
There's nothing left of this lonesome angel jaded from chasing rainbows/
just a broken halo and pain only the rain knows./
But despite the hardships, I'm still convinced that life's not a bitch/
just a fairy tale princess pissed cause the prince for which she wished turned out to be a dick/
and now she's stuck with a matrix-glitched existence topped off with a blistered image of marital bliss./
Staring into the mirror as I finally confront the blemished replica it reflects/
I take a deep breath, open my chest and have a beautiful train wreck......

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But this was ok....your structure could use some work though...your lines are too stretched out...keep them around the same length to keep it structured good and also so it helpes the flow out....also add some multies to this to make it better...keep at it.

i agree but it was also creative and pending on your way of spitting it can go well on beat....you got mad skillz just they havnt been uncovered yet work harder at it

let me here some opinions

i think with a bit of work on ya skillz, ya could be good......jus work on the overall feel of the piece...take everything into concideration.......but not a bad drop......keep droppin.....pZ

nice on the internal down you should turn some of that ta multis the content was dope real abstract and thats how i like a piece like this overall i was feelin it there's a few areas that need work but i think you know what yyour doing ya just need practice-1