RapVerse.com Community

RapVerse.com Community (http://community.rapverse.com/index.php)
-   Textual Releases (http://community.rapverse.com/forumdisplay.php?f=5)
-   -   Untitled (http://community.rapverse.com/showthread.php?t=98628)

Slik Shadow 12-13-03 09:49 PM

Untitled
 
Replied To:

The Prophecy
Potential
Soft Focus:The Weathers Art


Untitled

Ever since I was first endowed with a white owl
Since then i have always been a so called night owl
Searching for the right noun to find and write down
So my words standout like blood on a white towel
My soul invented new ways to leave a crew blazed
Enough to da point they darken twenty two shades
slice ya throat wit two blades justa double the pleasure
under da pressure, comes from creating a summer'a terror

Almost, The culprit would’ve skated but then Sam sung
told the cops "da gun was stashed behind the Samsung"
Now hes in da hospital,wit a collapsed lung n fractured bones
Startling revelations shows that I am the rapture cloned
Sent to capture thrones and leave all emcees worse off
Then a prisoner of war after they’ve called the search off

Due to prior measures I stay harder then a diamond’s texture
When designing lectures to overthrow tons of rhyming sectors
Verbally I’m providing great nectar that essential for my survival
Comming hard and never stoping,Courting rivals wit quarter rifles
Leaving the plaintiffs face wreacked, and in need of maintenance
Indeed the anus was brainless like post mummification patients
Gods pick, special, Like Neo i am the chosen The Chosen One
Stop bulets right after they start comming from an opponents gun
Their plain falis, thus always they take of, try to unload and run
instead their frozen from me holding onto their throa tand lungs

Menik 12-13-03 10:04 PM

you used the same 3 replies for all 3 of your drops today lol.

But this was alright...structure could use some work though i think, just a little touch up really, try keeping lines around the same length to make it structured better....vocab in this was alright i thought...had some good multies in this though...keep at it.

Dev 12-14-03 06:08 AM

pretty basic i thought in places.......opening bar was weak, specially with ending on the same rhyme....dont care much for that.......makes me lose interest before im even into it, there were some nice multis thrown in,,,,so...that added to it a bit....but i jus wasnt really feeling it.....ok drop though, jus not for me....pZ

Gunna XL 12-14-03 01:15 PM

good but could be way better.

pot1ent 12-14-03 01:28 PM

The use of multis were good.. The opener was very very weak though.. Their was nice progression throughout.. It lacked writers voice though.. The flow really helped this piece along.. Just elevate on your content.. There wasn't no explosive lines.. Also expand your vocab :)


All times are GMT -4. The time now is 03:26 PM.