Shook Ones (LoCo Diss)
 

http://rapbattles.com/forum/showthr...&threadid=98495
http://rapbattles.com/forum/showthr...&threadid=98505
http://rapbattles.com/forum/showthr...&threadid=98546


Beat:
Shook Ones Pt 2 - Mobb Deep

This cats hangin on dicks, rearangin then staggin shit - fake bitch
Pagin - ur rhyme book cuz u aint shit, half ur written shit, is my spitten bit
Bitch - dont use a notha brothers writ spit, cuz u aint wit-it
The only 'flow thats LoCo' - is ur homo-phobic antics
Ur pantic, wen im slantin a glock into ur face - pullin then runnin'
Gunnin - wit words n' stead of weapons, cuz im consealin
Dont go on anotha forum, post this diss so i gotta come n start revealin
Cuz i dont wnna embarass you on every-place you go-to
Several-chases, get caught stomped out - & by the way fuck ur whole crew
Im DR Knock Boots (nas) round' here, so get drowned wit lyrics round here'
I know you can hear-this, so dont post a responding diss - cuz u aint near-this(skill)
You fear-this, ur delerious, actually thinkin you can take-me
Dont ever bite anotha-line, unless u wnna get clip-covered-by-my-nine
Get in line - cuhz my beef list is full at the time
This is critical-beef now, lethergically tearin u up like a pussy
Cuttin this beef up like a delicatesen - nucca hope this teaches u a lesson'
Cuz I know you more shook, then Eminem findin out they went threw his rascit rhyme book...

upp

upp

This was a pretty good diss here i thought....structure was pretty well in it i thought, just some stretched out lines though but you can work on that...flow in this was pretty good also....liked the multies...overall a pretty good drop...keep at it.

upp

Ehh..


Work to drop the whole 'gangster' ordeal. It is not fun to read or listen to. Expand your vocab some, youll find that it helps to increase the overall appeal of your verses. And last but not least, DONT RAP ABOUT GUNS.

Rap about guns if u have one.lol. and if u can use wordplay to make it interestin.the setup was kinda hard for me to read. i thouht the low was a lil off, u had so many stops in between lines, still a decent diss tho, keep spitin u have nice diss potential. that eminem rhymebook had me lol.

PS- critique mines.

yeah for a diss this was ok man...there not really my thing so i aint gonna go into detail bout it......but i would try to hit hard in all barz......instead of it being up and down.....thats my opinion anyways......pZ...

pretty good diss...not to bad of a flow..need some more vocab i thought, good structure though

keep it up =)

upp

uppin this - if u dont know who LoCo is he is a cat on RB.Com
uppp