The best pain
 

Remorse and pain struck me hard
tore my heart and soul into shards
to lose this love when its come so far

I asked her if she loved me she replied i dont know
how can i trust the feeling that doesnt show
a feeling that might save me or terr apart my soul

as i asked-the tear was created
do you love me I asked "i dont know" again she stated
how can two feelings so different be so closely related

As far as I knew she could have lied
"is that the end?" i asked and to that she replied
"i guess"-inside i denied
how can this be the end to a love so refined

then the tear started growing
as she stayed quiet my heart started exploding
the tear increased so did my fear started showing
a virus in my soul and my heart the depression began forming

The river commenced to begin
the sadness that flowed thru my eyes down my chin
it hit my wrist and i could feel my heart twist
"love me, love me" damn how i wished

then out of nowhere
she said "i do want to be with u" i just had a blank stare
at first i thought she said the opposite and i just sat scared
then i asked again and she told me she cared

I asked do u love me
she said "I LOVE YOU" my eyes blurred for happiness was all i could see
now i wanted u to hug me, kiss me, and still a desire for love deep

The sheer happiness gave me a present-a tear
this heavenly women was here
as soon as her love re-appeared
my heart was rid of pain misery and fear

once again extasy filled
from now on the love was the only thing my heart thrilled
the pain slowly chilled
and now i feel purely in love-the misery, pain, depression, and fear was killed

i know the structure is a lil off but i just wrote this about 10 mins ago, so i dont care about structure now. this just happened, this poem is about my girl gettin close to breakin up with me....made my heart feel like it was hit by a car :(

does anyone got any thing to say about my poem? itll be cool to know watchall think

good poem, you had a lot of good emotion the structure is off but your wordplay kept it on point this was good cuz it was real...hope everything gets better...peep my poems ye got time thanks mayn

good poem keep it up

thanx, da feedback is appreciated. uppin

good shit man keep ya head up

i found with this piece at the beginning the paragraphs ended to short, they jumped from one point to another, kinda shaky like, but it gets better throu the piece, but you said you didnt write this with structure in mind. your emotions are felt throu this, and shown pretty well. vocab was good. message was strong, and clear. like said, keep your head up!!!!

~Tera~
DONT HATE

ya, i wrote this fast to get rid of sum stress and to get out sum feelings. didnt care about structure. ima keep tryin

mm..structure aint an issue in this piece..its good wit out it...like i said to ya..i been there, i kno wat its like but even if i hadnt i would feel the pleasant misery after u posted this..i really like this piece...aint much to say since i already told u how i felt..il be waitin for more..

good shit

thanx for all the advice hotrod

what i like the most about these poems. your poem i'd rate a 7/10. it was pretty decent. but, did not show as much emotion as the others i have read. . nice job anyhow, keep it up. would give a longer more detailed reply but im replying to a lot in here now & dont have time. - FM

dat shit was hard i had to read it again

^^^^^your getting banned........nice day

yo ur the only guy i can actually undastand wen it comes tah break ups.... ok ill explain y...... wen a cuple almost breaks up guys normally get all defensive and threaten thu girl and hen they get all mad and ive seen it to be true that the guy actually hits the girl... the way you explained the entire thing makes you seem like a guy that isnt like any other! you actually seem like you fell in love wit this girl and yiur not afraid to admit it. most guys say they love you and you turn around and ur wurst night mare is standin rite there.... your best friend is wit tha 1 u actually do love. i dunno if that was confusin at all but thats why i find this peice to be so real because it is like a scene or something that youve lived through at some point in your life... i aint gatta tell yah to keep it up!