Ever Since..
 

Well, it started out with me trying to just get some stuff off my chest.. the end result was more of a poem than a rap, so ive decided to post it in here. Be nice with your critique kids, as this was my first time trying something new.


Ever Since...She left me it appears as if this life is hopeless
Ever Since...I dont live for myself, but for past moments
Ever Since...Life has increased the tempo of this ratrace
Ever Since...I havent attempted to be in a womans embrace
Ever Since...I feel as if I have noting more to possibly lose
Ever Since...I never said what I felt, "Geraldine, I Love You"
Ever Since...I was expelled I seem to be backtracking
Ever Since...I found a new way to expand: backpacking
Ever Since...Ive failed my Father, and family as a whole
Ever Since...I ignored the predictions my Father foretold
Ever Since...I find im blaming others for my mistakes
Ever Since...Ive tried to find new ways to mask the pain
Ever Since...I turned into a man at 13, ive been on my own
Ever Since...I chose my own path..on the wrong side of the road
Ever Since...I found that im on the lesser with teams stacked
Ever Since...I turned my back on God hes been kickin my ass
Ever Since...The only emotion givin by my Mother was scorn
Ever Since...Is the story of my life..Ever Since I was born


http://www.rapbattles.com/forum/sho...&threadid=98644

http://www.rapbattles.com/forum/sho...&threadid=97001

http://www.rapbattles.com/forum/sho...&threadid=98484

This is written well, the Ever Since gives it a nice flow. I sense the emotion behind your words, but I dont really sense emotion in the poem...I guess because this was initially written as a rap, I am not sure.. I dont write rap lol All in all I liked it though, it was well rounded.. Nice write.

Why thank you god sir, you are correct in your assumptions that it started out as a rap.