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-   -   the inner mind (http://community.rapverse.com/showthread.php?t=98807)

Shadowsk8er 12-14-03 06:52 PM

the inner mind
 
the sanctum in which we retreat
yet we know nothing about
where we have our memories keep
and well never let them out
the clouds of thought
of our painful past
then with a single shot
its gone in a flash

then when we open our eyes
it was just a dream
or is life a bunch of lies
and nothing is as it seems

what if death is life
and the other way around
and the only time we begin life
is when we are in the ground

and we open our eyes for the very first time
when we lie down with them closed
and we see our actual life like in this rhyme
when we are laid in the earth holding a rose

so i lay in my bed of eternal rest
and wake up the next eternity
with a urge to find my place
given birth by the deaths maternity



any of yall ever think of that???:shocked:

filed 12-15-03 11:53 AM

this was a good concept. a different look on life. its pieces like this that i like, because they make you think. One thing about this piece thou, is i felt you could have of had a stronger intro to it.
but the rest fit good. you showed us where you stand in thoughts about life, and told us why. you did a good job explaining it all out. structure could use a little work, but it didnt take away much from this piece.

~Tera~
DONT HATE

HotRod 12-16-03 12:30 PM

its was alright


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