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-   Poetic Scriptures (http://community.rapverse.com/forumdisplay.php?f=9)
-   -   Rewind.. (http://community.rapverse.com/showthread.php?t=98910)

.Skribblez. 12-15-03 01:17 AM

Rewind..
 
My tape's playing smoothly
No skips, everything calm and relaxing
I'm happy now
Because I have you
Because I have sumone to love
Because I have sumone to love me
Then I look to the past
All the times I wanted to give up this life
Because I thought there was nothing to live for
Because I had nothing to look forward to
Because you weren't here
I don't want to go back to those times
I never want to go back to those days
And I never want to rewind back to that part in this tape
So I broke the stereo. . .

filed 12-15-03 11:31 AM

simple put, but holds a deep message, with lots of emotion.
i could tell you that this coudl be longer, with more explantions, and more detail, but i think the way it is now is perfect for what it is. Theres not much you can say about a piece so short and self explanitory like this, other then i liked it, it and was nicely written. the last line was my fave!

~Tera~
DONT HATE

HotRod 12-16-03 12:32 PM

it was all right but not complex at all it was simple as 1 2 3

bellapoetsade' 12-16-03 04:40 PM

I liked it alot. Even though the structure was simple andthe rhyme scheme. You expressed the emotions of this poem well.

.Skribblez. 12-16-03 06:34 PM

Thanks alot.. I appreciate the feedback :)

skrawni ASK RRD 12-16-03 06:36 PM

yo i thought it was nice
had a sense that u accomplished something
then something happened that caused u 2 brake the sterio
which was probly something went wrong with yer audio i soppose
well good piece nonetheless
^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^


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