Whats Going Wrong!?!?!?!?
 

Check it out...
im still workin on it...this is just 1 verse from a track im workin on
i need feedbak peeps.....let me know what y'all think
eventually, i will record it.....

i am sick of this violence, all this hatin and ridin
i got a feelin inside me thats gon into hidin
i've decided that i aint gonna hide it
y'all fuckers realizin that this rap game is dyin
but your too stupid, to even look through n through it
if ya chewin and shootin then its gonna be ruined
who's even attempting to change it, i shud save it cos
im afraid it might be gone before i have made it
and played it, i want to take part, i play hard
but i noticed they all talk shit until they fall
now there gone another commercial rapper is hired
and it aint gonna be long till the game itself has retired

hope you enjoyed

peace

that was ok dawg.it started out well and kinda fell apart after that. try and work on the vocab cuz the words are what make it enjoyable. other than that pretty decent. keep it up

however i think it will sound sicker on audio...
do me a favour and drop a vote on this battle.its been goin to long


http://www.rapbattles.com/forum/sho...&threadid=98112

.......I almost fell asleep...shit was boring...

fair enough...i'll choose better vocab n shit
and last poet, i'll make more enjoyable to read, maybe put sum shit bout me n ur mum in it..........lm'f'ao

from now on, only constructive criticism plz.........

thnx for tha feedbak peeps

still uppin this shit

peace

You need to leave 3 links or 3 names of people you left feedback to or this will get closed, Thanks.

..don't get your feelings hurt now...you want a hug and a kiss????LOL...go check my post and holla at me...Peace...

yo, do me a favour and give an honest vote on this battle cuz
it just won't end..........

http://www.rapbattles.com/forum/sho...&threadid=98112

I replied to 3...

LastPoet - ..Evil World..??
God - The Inflatable Penis With The Rubber Grip. .
Pot1ent - [Born To Kill Diss.]

Good piece...

Don't vibe with your message, though...

Rap ain't going anywhere...

And if it does, it'll come back.

Cycles, everything happens in cycles.

Good verse, not much vocab, kept it simple.

Good flow.

Overall, 6.5/10