critique this
 

i'll take the best flow ya wrote an whipe my ass wit it
ya hoe says "oh hell no he didnt"
ya need ta take that shitty ass flow flush it an quit it
admit that ya bit it cuz it aint soundin like you
the shit you spit sounds like a bitch are you sure you a dude
ya probably got little boobs an a twat but you hide it
so bitch you beck up out my way an be quiet
hop in your bucket an slide it drive it round corners an bounce
im the type ta tell ya get the fuck up outta ya house
an if i hear another word cum up outta ya mouth
i'll pull the tongue out ya mouth an use it ta eat ya mother out
i give a fuck about wether you like it or not sayin im sick
you should see ya bitch when shes suckin cock
like shes swiggin a shot back on her twenty firs birthday
suckin like shop vacs since the very first day
that she first layed eyes on a playa it aint my fault
i treated yo bitchs pussy like robbers in bank vaults i take all
you dont believe me it may cost
just ask all the homies they was hearin me bang walls
so take a pause an realize she a hoe
an realize another thang that you cant flow
tear yo fuckin arms off now you cant throw
pack the bomb that i just threw at ya toe
so dont come to me flappin an yappin ya bullshit
cuz i'll tell ya like i just did shut yo mouth bitch
an get where ya need ta be goin "an wheres that"
anywhere ta get my scratch an thats a fact

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But this was ok....structure seemed ok, but still could use some work though..cause you have some long lines and some short ones, you should try to keep all your lines around the same length so its structured good and so it helps the flow out...also try adding a few more multies to this...but keep at it.