slimmeys bac! check this rhyme
 

yo its a hard life out hear its tough to get by/
everyone sheds a tear you see grown men start to cry/
everyone lives in fear gangstas and pimps get shy/
i look out of my window and start 2 realize/
that everyting good in this world is starting 2 fade away/
people killing there own brothers cause they forgot to pay/
fathers leaving there home where there is children in need/
then not supporting them after they just get hungry 4 greed/
then they do anything that they can 2 succeed/
its a terrible world full of cocaine, crack and speed/
wen got created this world there was just adam and eve/
thats wen the world was beautiful full of fruit, grass and trees/

.................................................. ...............................................
masta c
significant
mc-uski

the posts i replied on are:

word~perfect
dropz
born to kill

This was ok i thought.....structure in this was alright, could use some touching up though....but you should try to add some multies and internals to make this better and to help the flow out in this...vocab could be up'd though...but keep at it.