![]() |
my first freestye(plz reply)
here are my 3
http://www.rapbattles.com/forum/sho...6266#post996266 http://www.rapbattles.com/forum/sho...6345#post996345 http://www.rapbattles.com/forum/sho...6323#post996323 WHATS IT WORTH Yo dont talk shit bitch ill pop a cap in ur ass bitch I dont give a fuck if ur the CIA or the KKK when u hate and discrimanate..Ill choose ur fate Isnt life just great with these hoes goin around sayin hehe im a S.O.B with a S.T.D And theese freaks who rape and put thier victims on tape what kind of world we livin in where its ok for people to get murdered everyday..and the killa gets off the hook comeon throw him the book send him to jail set a million dolla bail and 4 u's who think lifes a fairy tale i cant wait to u get hit by all this shit u wont kno what to do u'll come to us and well deny the needy just like u see the worlds on big chain this shit brings everyone pain and this is just a verse that i took out of the without me song and changed it a bit Miss Kapatrick can get her assed kicked by limp bizkit bastards and obe u can get raped by kobe u 90 year old hoe u aint got nuttin to show me too old let go everybody listens to bo |
Bospitta dis is pretty good for a first freestyle on da first time, people usually aren't dat good when they start out so I really give you props.
STRENGTHS what you said was tight and I feel you dawg WEAKNESSES Your flow wasn't all dat good but keep praticing and you'll improve, so good job for trying man. most of da rhymes I read didn't rhyme at all, so make da words like rhymes. don't set it up like paragraph form cause it makes it hard to rhyme with and choppy, post your rhymes like dis for example(below) so people won't call you a complete newbie dawg. niggas try hitting me with a pump I'm gonna roll over dem like a bump Bospitta try all dat I told you and you should be a nasty rhyme creating emcee dawg, don't ever give up jus practice, practice. !!GOOD JOB FOR A FIRST FREESTYLE!! |
This was ok....structure was ok, could use some work though i think, try to shorten your lines a bit though....flow in this was ok, it got off in this at some spots i thought....vocab was decent, could be up'd though...but overall this was ok....keep at it.
|
holy shit... i dont no... mayb its me but i didnt care much for it...
sounds a bit coreny imop... ya and shorten lines would b a good idea... work on it tho... u kan gets better |
shit was tight dog, a couple of lines ain't sound like they mixed that good, ex. 1st snd 2nd line, but keep on doin' your thang
|
hmm this was Ookay The Flow Was Choppa At Times ...u coulda shortened ya lines......Elevate
|
Not to bad for your first time...try to hit with multis every line..and try to keep your structure and flow on lock, like i said...pretty good for your first time
|
waaaaaaccckkkkk
|
proli 1 of ur betta 1's
|
Yo that was ok with hot bars
but the rimes werent that great but over all it was good |
yo dat was good for your 1st
but you gotta stop switchin topicz like rappin about da world then switch to talkin about whuppin somebody azz up ya webster(vocab) and keep practicin and doin ya thing........one |
ey kid chu gooood... im yung
YOU NIGGAZ BETTA RUN AND HIDE WEN U C ME OR ELSE U GET GUNNED DOWN :shoot: BEST BELIEVE ITS TIME FO ME 2 PUT CHU OUTTA YO MISERY!!!! IF U COM BY ME ULL C HOW PISSED OFF I CAN B TAKE MY UZI PLAY CONNECT THE DOTS DIS AINT A GAME B!!! U COULD LOOSE UR LIFE ANY SECOND..... IM RAPPIN HERE CUZ I NO ILL MAKE MA FIRST RAP RECAD
:gfy: SO GET OUT MA FACE BEFO I DECK YA MAKE U A NERVOUS AND PHYSICAL RECK!!!!!!!! I NO IM 11 BUT IM TRYIN 2 GET BY YA ALTOUGH IM YOUNG IT DOESNT MEAN IM NOT A YUNG GUN :thefinger :banghead: THAT MAKES ME MAD CUZ ALL YALL UP IN MA FACE IF U DONT MOVE ILL UZE UR HEAD FO A SOCCER BALL IM SMALL BUT ILL SPLATTER UR GUTZZ ALLL OVA DA WALL :flipoff: ITZ MA FIRST TIME HERE IM TRYNA MAKE A LIVIN... TAKEN GIVEN DELIVERIN ALL YALL 2 HEAVEN..... ITS TIME FO ME 2 GO STOP MAKIN DIS SONG AND STOP MY EVIL FLO :thumbup: SOOOOO 122 BYE BYE U CANT BEAT ME |
it reminded me of other songs to much.black eyed peas drop all that shit bout kkk n cia and hate n descriminate.
|
i kno but it went along wit the rap
|
yo tht shit was pretty good. that was good for a first tymer like me. give me some feedback to. thanx help me out. :shoot: :laugh: :shoot:
|
All times are GMT -4. The time now is 11:57 PM. |