Gimme some Comment ..
 

Through my life I got labelled as a Trouble maker
I kill and bury like I’m the undertaker
Sow don’t make that Fatal Mistake
That makes me roast u like steak
I let u Watch how I break your bones
I bring Devastation like Cyclones
When I fuck a Bitch I make sure She Moans
Get her yelling Out Those Tones Of Supreme Pleasure
I eat meat like Hannibal Lecture sow physically speaking I’m living Well
Spoken letteral---ly u should
Fear me Like u fear HELL Cause Facin’ Me Is Like Facin’ The Devil ,
Driving in ma Coupe Deville smoking indo’ behind tha wheel , spitting those words like shooting Out the Window 38 Slugs of hard Steel , count down people from ma shit list,
To see how many others need to get dissed ,
Don’t get me Wrong cause u don’t get me pissed ,
I’m laughing @ ur ass while drinking that bottle of ‘’ Crys ’’ haha
I’ma Ill Lyricist I get those fake rappers dismissed
Doctors prognoses , u died from an overdoses
Now I’m Gone probably Scoopin’ ur girl up in ma Lotus and make some chemistry let her Focus on me before u can say : tweedle-dum –tweedle-dee I’ve got her locked down between tha knee’s and she does what eva I please, i bring death like the h.i.v disease now i'mma leave peace probably let enough of ur ego's be deceased ..

not to bad of an idea...you need to work on your structure big time...keep it up

You need to leave 3 links or 3 names of people you left feedback to or this will get closed, Thanks.

But yeah like Nyte said your structure does need some work...try keeping your lines around the same length so it doesnt lose the flow, and dont use stretched lines cause that takes away from the flow as well...you also should try adding some multies to help this out...but keep at it.

Half of it where you started flowin and commin together was hard but it seems like you got lost at some parts and went through the alphabet tryin to find words that rhyme, the flowin was definately a +, just keep ya head up