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-   -   Dear Lord (http://community.rapverse.com/showthread.php?t=99613)

CrackaBox187 12-18-03 09:35 AM

Dear Lord
 
Feedback is appreciated
Please let me know somethin


Dear lord I look up
And pray everyday
But the next to come is still filled
With suffering and pain
I don’t ask for much
But guidance and help
When I look for you
I have to look in myself
I dig deeper and deeper
And find thought after thought
And in my decision
I ask is this what god wants
I try to be the best that I can
But I got to put it in my hands
When the shit hits the fan
Patience is a virtue to gain
But why do my bright clouds
Have the darkest of rain
I got to stay sane
Waiting for a change
Streak of bad luck
Waiting to break this chain
Waiting for the next day to come
And hoping it shines bright
I close my eyes
And I look for the light
I got to keep them open
And stay on my feet
Hoping one day
You’ll fulfill my dream
My wishes, prayers, hopes, and ambitions
I’m not asking you to do it all
Just guide me with your vision
And if I fall
Don’t let me fail pick me up
And when we cross the finish together
We’ll show them what’s up

reviewed:
A.T.
Dropz
dez

deacon 12-18-03 11:22 AM

^^^^please post 3 replies from other pieces in the forum you've read...thank you

-1-

Phantasia 12-25-03 10:29 PM

This is the best prayer I've heard in a long time.
It made me think about how I'm livin and what
am I not doing right. This was an eye opener to
the world around. It touched me!

Keep doin ya thing

filed 12-29-03 06:55 PM

this was a good piece!

it was simply written, with no big vocab or anything, but everything seemed right, flowed right, sounded right, everything was where it needed to be in this piece. it started nice, and ended just as nice. i liked that it started to sound on the happy side near the end instead of a whole piece about poor me. l'll look for some more!

~Tera~
DONT HATE


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