[Wk8] Masta C (0-0) vs Executive (0-0)
 

Verses Due: December 26th
Voting Ends: December 30th

Topic: Santa Claus Is Coming To Town

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Should Be Fun.

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Just as the sun slowly begins to rise Santa Clause awakes…
Shivering at the thought that the cold draws snow flakes…
He eventually sets up and cautiously climbs out of bed first…
Not waking Ms. Clause, He stretches and pouts his head hurts…
He makes his way out of the bedroom and down the hallway…
As he thinks that there is so much work to do this fall day…
And his bells shake making them jingle on his clothes…
He yawns and goes into the kitchen, itchen upon his nose…
Smelling the scent of cookies, so he grabs a few to eat…
He sits down at the table in his chair and chews the treat…
And takes a drink of milk to help wash the cookies down…
Then he wipes his mouth clean that has crumbs all around…
He gets up and walks over to the closet door and opens it…
Pulls out his boots then straps on his red suit and hopes it fits…
He then sits down and puts his boots on and laces them tight…
Then walks over to the door, opens it and he faces delight…
From all the white that graces his sight and smiles with glee…
He steps outside feeling against his face the cold winter breeze…
Takes a breath of fresh air and starts walking across the snow…
Hearing it crunch under his feet crushing the frost below…
Making his way over to the stable and slowly opens the door…
Walks in hearing the reindeer snore, the sounds he tries to ignore…
Then Rudolf’s nose lights up as he is startled from behind…
Santa gives a smile and Rudolf relaxes at the warmth inside…
Then Ms. Clause walks in staring at them, showing a frown…
As she sees Santa mounting Rudolf, happily going to town…

Once again its that time of the year
Strap on the gear then pull out the reindeer
No time for a beer..time for santa to once again make his trip around the sphere
It’s the night before Christmas and santa’s on his way
Time for the big day no delay can get in the way of his magical sleigh
Magical creatures lead the way of his journey throughout the night
Suspense arises in each kid as they incite to invite the coming of kringle leaving on a light/
Delight on the sight of each kid as santa magically continues his trip/
The cold breeze bringing the runny nose of each kid to ooze down to the lip
Making the night seem longer…yet the kids cant wait for morning after
Dreams in each head ponder the fact of santa bringing eternal joy and laughter
So elaborate to come up with visions of there own
Real emphasis unknown only the complete lack of awareness to the fact that the parents are the ones pulling out another loan/
Yet the image of santa remains in the mind of our children and should continue so
Why take that away when it’s the joy that brings us together theres no reason for the truth to be known
Back on track santa lives in our head and fairly wide spread
Yet every year he remains faithfull to his trip while we rest in out bed
Even though santa isn’t real
The true benefit of this story is the joyfull moments that reveal the real deal and conceal the pain for one night and heal with a jolly appeal




shit i had more but since i got scared thinking this was closed i deleted it.....so i put this together quick

this battle was ehhhh blah

not really up to par here fellas.. maybe cuz of the topic
but you both handled it with little to no creativity.. just
general.

Masta C,
you obviously have more experience in doing topicals
n' it shows.. but not much.. maybe you should spend more
time writing topicals in open mic rather than harrassing
people in open mic. Just practice more

Exec..
I deff can tell this might have been your first topical piece
or just something your not used too.. because you came
very basic. Your flow at times was nice, but at other times
was very newbish, n' just didn't go together as best that
it could. elevate, you'll learn in time

v/ Masta C

both need to elevate here...
there isn't really much to say..

but masta c did come better...hit the topic better

executive...was blah...u need to elevate badly
your structure scares me

vote=masta c

Nyce drops by both.....props for showin....Masta was solid with tha multi's, Executive had a sum nyce vocab at times, but most of your verse was unstructured and loaded full of single rhymes in each bar....ruined tha flow....tha breakdown:

Masta C- rhyme scheme: 8, flow: 8, story: 8, total: 24
Exec- rhyme scheme: 6.5, flow: 6.5, story: 8, total: 21

Tha twist at tha end of Masta C's verse.....won it, that shit had me rollin....Mounting rudolf....wasnt expectin that, nyce drops....exec elevate...work on structure...you had a good idea

Vote Masta C, peep my battle

Not to bad of a battle, i think excuitive could of came better with the story line but masta c showed some good pen work, i felt mc was more into this topic and wrote better on it, Ex had some good lines but not as creative as masta c very close but masta see with detail and wordplay over took this win

props to both of you

masta c, you wrote it well but wtf .. it sounds like some kind of childrens poem or some shit .. i really did not like it, i was expecting at least some kind of twist or something making it worthwhile, but instead it was just like a blast from the second grade .. boo

executive, blah .. you didn't have anything too great either .. you had the lesser flow factor which is basically what decided this battle .. which is really sad .. but yeah

both of you work on your writing ..
v. masta c

Masta C wins