War...
 

1.The Exposure of the poser "mc phoenix"diss by paragone-phoenix
2.the stand-last poet
3.when the heart stops-thrust


please reply....n give me sum good feedback so i know wut to work on n wut i already got.

all i see is war damn.............

There is so much shit in the world...fights between nations/
by the time u know it we'll be extinct cuz of fights n hateration/
The USA finally caugth saddam/
But u know Bin laden still be droppin air plane bombs/
The world is terrorized by warfare everywhere/
When this is all over we gonna have an eternal inspection n repair/
I know families right now that cant have a christmas cuz they kid or father is sumwhere in pakistan/
Isnt that ironic that it seems that the govenment likes this "sport"...they the numba 1 fan/
we think we the numba 1 nation...no troubles...get that out ya mind cuz youll see its only begun/
jus like the streets theres gonna be other people that wana be #1/
war causes the most physical n emotional damage...scars burned in u 4 life/
so if this a democarcy, y wont the government critcally think this twice/:shoot:





please give me sum feedback on this......sorry bout the length

hope yall felt this lil' flow

peace

good needs some better structure but that is it other then that this was a nice joint to peep and i look forward to more

Yeah this was alright....Structure could use some work like WORD said, should try to shorten your lines down a bit and try to keep them around the same length so it helps the flow out in your pieces...your vocab was good i thought..but overall this was alright...keep at it.

thanx WORD n masta c

still uppin

hey dog, this is was a tight drop considering you are new to r and b like me. but i don't think me and you are in that level. we are beyond and will still be movin up another knotch. Just keep practicing and you will get more skilled in the are of flowin. I think me and you got potential cuz you flow about the real shit, not know niggaz gettn shot or how many hoes and cars you have. you flow the entelect way and i hope it stays dat way. peace

this was raw. i liked it
different point of view. got me thinkin