part of a piece im workin on (advanced weaponry)
 

Drop bombs at the rate of a verbal conflict, hit after hit till the message fits defining with scripts, of linguistic domination vibrations to your brain, penetrate your earlobes underground like Hussein/
Feel the power of my rhyme in realtime or behind the line, that few come back and barley cross your mind, frontal force foiled by no one, advanced infiltration, leaves you lost in your spot knowing im second to none/
Bring your best guns, son they wont help you now, I got these battles on the low down to expose you as clowns, make your mamma frown, when she sees my effect, I smash any other writer in real life or on this internet/
Alot of sleepers lately not even trying to complicate me, debate me, create me, and even underrate me/
Wake up theres a war out front, of words and thoughts, instead of lazin arround letting fresh flows rot, im not saying you have to beat me, you can join me if you want, rip up this scene with the army of sick jots/
I set fires to charachters playing emcees, not spitting any lyrics, but they claiming their something, calling this game wack and me but cant produce nothing, splash put you out, now go on home popping up those blisters, your burnt with the branding "I like rapping these fake words"....

You need to leave 3 links or 3 names of people you left feedback to or this will get closed, Thanks.

But this was ok....your structure threw me off at first but i got ahold of it then, but try to work on that...try keeping your lines not so stretched out though, so it doesnt throw off the flow....but keep at it.

oh aight man, i will in a minute, and yeah its just a rough freestyle copy right now, took me like a minute

i'm not sure where you were going with this one...I guess i'm finding it hard to read a bunch of these. I think it's better to hear them and I think this is one that sounds better than it looks. I'd rather hear a bunch of these. I see ya work though... b E-Z

i thought this was ok,,,,could be touched on.....clear the structure up though....knocked the flow...but ya had some interesting lines in.....work on the multis though......all in all not bad man.....lose the paragraph.....pZ

you need to slice your bar breaks and length several really good lines you got will get ignored because your formatted for run on sentences......i think you got great wordplay and the image is there just need delivery.

That was a very long minute and you still do not get links, Closed