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-   -   Asylum... (http://community.rapverse.com/showthread.php?t=99946)

Born To Kill 12-19-03 04:06 PM

Asylum...
 
Asylum

In a prison of prisms, I try ta just listen...
Cuz visions can glisten with multiple perception.
Enhancing and romancing the portrayl of reality...
And financing the chancing to conquer insanity.

So I keep my presence in the present, eavesdropping...
Cuz my residence has a regiment for grief stopping.
Act kind with an open mind, while medication courses...
In time you'll unwind, as they discover pain's sources.
Current flows if ya outta control, so remain mellow...
Upon threshold bladder unfolds, white's stained yellow.

Oration can bring elation, so I await spoken words...
With sedation as foundation, they can sound so absurd.
Mostly comical, often diabolical, but always entertaining...
It's whimsical and almost protocol, their complaining.
I don't walk away from, but vault away the rantings...
As they talk and say some, recitation, till they're panting.

One day I'll publish to the public my observations...
That's if I establish the tactic of self preservation.
Cuz currently I'm not hurriedly, attempting to depart...
I'm at home where my ears can roam, and I don't need a heart.

Skitten's verse
Sun's Verse
Camarac's Verse

Sun 12-19-03 04:09 PM

wow..a great piece..your wordplay is impressive..the content was also excellent..this was very nice

CrackaBox187 12-19-03 04:12 PM

good structure, word play, shit was on beat

Born To Kill 12-19-03 04:25 PM

Thanks for the feedback so far...

Ya'll come up with more!

Peace

YoungBlack 12-19-03 04:30 PM

that shit was tight man, the structure was good, and nice metas, overall good job...it seem's like you've been rappin for 30 years, man...

8.5/10

Viscosity 12-19-03 04:32 PM

dope
flow/vocab all ofi t
man fuck this is sick... if i had some respect by vets i'd post it on RB legends

Born To Kill 12-19-03 05:07 PM

Thanks for that, Vis...

More peeps...

How about some well-known heads...

You guys can comment too, ya know.

Dev 12-19-03 06:10 PM

i liked this peice...showin skillz...but i thought it sounded a bit poetic....jus seemed that way to me...it was well composed..but like i said not to my taste...i prefer some raw shit....no beef tho obviously...jus honesty....pZ....good composition tho....

Born To Kill 12-22-03 10:32 AM

Uppin for more peeps...

Would like to get feedback from more if possible.

Thanks

Penskills 12-22-03 10:55 AM

.Your structure,wordplay,content everything was on point..
I personallly enjoyed the 'One day I'll publish..".Line..Very nice..

Born To Kill 12-25-03 10:08 AM

Christmas Day uppin...

In$tig@TeR 12-25-03 10:19 AM

Good Wordplay...Tight Vocab....Flow and Structure wuz on.............tIGHT ISH man...Can u Peep My Thread...Its Called CHange..Thanks Man

Ackusation 12-25-03 10:26 AM

Good work on this b2k..

Quotable:

Quote:
Mostly comical, often diabolical, but always entertaining...
It's whimsical and almost protocol, their complaining.


Keep it up.

Born To Kill 12-29-03 03:15 PM

Thank you, sir...

Need a couple of more peeps from the classic heads around here.

Certain folk ain't checked this yet.

Peace

BaG oF SkILLz 12-29-03 03:35 PM

So I keep my presence in the present, eavesdropping...
Cuz my residence has a regiment for grief stopping.
Act kind with an open mind, while medication courses...
In time you'll unwind, as they discover pain's sources.

This verse right here was damn near flawless kid, I was feelin it.

Oration can bring elation, so I await spoken words...
With sedation as foundation, they can sound so absurd.
Mostly comical, often diabolical, but always entertaining...
It's whimsical and almost protocol, their complaining.

Vocab here and flow on point..like to hear ya on audio..real hot shit right here 8.5/10


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