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Showing results 1 to 25 of 102
Search took 0.00 seconds. Search: Posts Made By: SMZ |
Forum: Textual Releases
02-17-04, 08:55 AM
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Replies: 25
Views: 602
Posted By
SMZ
^^^
come on - don't pollute my thread with that...
^^^ come on - don't pollute my thread with that shit "it looks cool" lmao |
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Forum: Textual Releases
02-17-04, 12:41 AM
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Replies: 3
Views: 181
Posted By
SMZ
Ok - needs some structural work, flowed...
Ok - needs some structural work, flowed adequately nonetheless. Even though this technically rhymes it would sound much better if you made it a multi: i kno its hard to see what i feel cuz i hide it... |
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Forum: Textual Releases
02-17-04, 12:35 AM
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Replies: 4
Views: 261
Posted By
SMZ
Ok - I'd like to see you bring more similies and...
Ok - I'd like to see you bring more similies and metaphors - you had a few. Lines like: "you's a wannabe like one of those american idol cant rhyme, or sing cant believe you aint suicidal" hit... |
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Forum: Textual Releases
02-16-04, 01:06 AM
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Replies: 6
Views: 550
Posted By
SMZ
ok piece - I can't decide whether I liked the...
ok piece - I can't decide whether I liked the randomness of your thoughts as a picture of your mind or if you should've stuck more to one topic. Flow was pretty good - maybe a little work but it was... |
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Forum: Textual Releases
02-16-04, 12:57 AM
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Replies: 7
Views: 764
Posted By
SMZ
nice flow - multi's, vocab was adequate but I...
nice flow - multi's, vocab was adequate but I expected more seeing as you claimed it would be hard to understand you. Nice personal praise piece though - hit something in my sig - preferably Broken... |
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Forum: Textual Releases
02-15-04, 11:13 PM
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Replies: 5
Views: 329
Posted By
SMZ
Nice knowledge drop - vocab level was good. Flow...
Nice knowledge drop - vocab level was good. Flow was nice - seemed natural. Had a number of quotable lines. You maintained the feeling of desolation throughout - nice job. Hit something in my sig... |
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Forum: Textual Releases
02-15-04, 11:05 PM
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Replies: 7
Views: 423
Posted By
SMZ
Very nice piece - tight rhymes and flow - good...
Very nice piece - tight rhymes and flow - good vocab level - used your words to make me feel what you feel. So once again very nice. Just thought I point out too that technically the rhyme... |
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Forum: Textual Releases
02-15-04, 10:56 PM
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Replies: 9
Views: 487
Posted By
SMZ
ok - needs some structural work but some nice...
ok - needs some structural work but some nice rhymes. Good vocab level. Pretty good intro piece - liked: "A scientific genius, takes a genetically enhanced fetus/ To a secret lab, to breed it with... |
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Forum: Textual Releases
02-15-04, 10:47 PM
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Replies: 11
Views: 406
Posted By
SMZ
I think you've got some talent - just need it...
I think you've got some talent - just need it refined. Had some very nice lines in there: Little Boy im Waiting, Why Won't Your Soul Start To Falter, As This Begins To Happen, The Childs Pulse... |
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Forum: Textual Releases
02-15-04, 10:39 PM
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Replies: 5
Views: 332
Posted By
SMZ
alright - as you acknowledged you put more effort...
alright - as you acknowledged you put more effort into the rhymes than into the lyrics. Which made it somewhat odd because some of the ideas didn't seem to be connected. flow was pretty good - I... |
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Forum: Textual Releases
02-15-04, 09:07 PM
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Replies: 25
Views: 602
Posted By
SMZ
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Forum: Textual Releases
02-14-04, 10:42 PM
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Replies: 4
Views: 216
Posted By
SMZ
^^^
That's how I spit when I'm not focused - but...
^^^ That's how I spit when I'm not focused - but just feeling something. It flows in my head - I might put it to audio and see what you think. thnx for feedback. Audio clip... |
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Forum: Textual Releases
02-14-04, 10:35 PM
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Replies: 17
Views: 472
Posted By
SMZ
I think this is noticeably better than the two...
I think this is noticeably better than the two Dead to Live pieces. You generate emotion well. Flow was on point with the exception of a few lines it seemed. Nice work overall. |
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Forum: Textual Releases
02-14-04, 09:40 PM
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Replies: 2
Views: 241
Posted By
SMZ
Flow was nice but it'd be easier to read if you...
Flow was nice but it'd be easier to read if you divided the lines up. I think vocab could be elevated a bit - I saw a couple of words that seemed to be used out of context. Well told story though. ... |
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Forum: Textual Releases
02-14-04, 09:23 PM
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Replies: 4
Views: 216
Posted By
SMZ
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Forum: Textual Releases
02-14-04, 09:20 PM
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Replies: 15
Views: 323
Posted By
SMZ
Your emotion shone thru well. I think it would...
Your emotion shone thru well. I think it would be better if you either 1. expanded on it a little or 2. upped the complexity of your rhymes. Flow was alright. Keep writing. Hit something in my... |
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Forum: Textual Releases
02-14-04, 09:15 PM
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Replies: 7
Views: 287
Posted By
SMZ
I told you I would read this - so here I am. I...
I told you I would read this - so here I am. I have pretty similar advice to the first one. Namely that you had a good idea but didn't seem to execute it very well. Some of the rhymes seemed... |
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Forum: Textual Releases
02-14-04, 09:06 PM
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Replies: 5
Views: 243
Posted By
SMZ
Vocab was high-level. Flow was pretty good but I...
Vocab was high-level. Flow was pretty good but I think it could be a little better. Your lines are pretty long - so it'd be nice to see some more stuff going on inside them. I liked: "So you say... |
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Forum: Textual Releases
02-14-04, 08:56 PM
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Replies: 12
Views: 485
Posted By
SMZ
lmao - A couple of standard punches but quite a...
lmao - A couple of standard punches but quite a few clever ones as well. Very personal - nice flow. Even more impressive seeing as it's like the fifth or so consecutive diss. |
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Forum: Textual Releases
02-14-04, 06:48 PM
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Replies: 10
Views: 256
Posted By
SMZ
"I don't really know how to improve my...
"I don't really know how to improve my structure" Your lines don't have to be necessarily even to flow nicely - peep something by Word~Perfect for an example. So if that's your style go with it. ... |
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Forum: Textual Releases
02-14-04, 10:58 AM
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Replies: 10
Views: 256
Posted By
SMZ
I thought you brought the ideas of desire and...
I thought you brought the ideas of desire and lust across well. Flow was alright but could use a little work. Liked your intro line: "In speech we dont speak while teacher teaches" - nice insight.... |
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Forum: Textual Releases
02-14-04, 01:27 AM
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Replies: 13
Views: 287
Posted By
SMZ
Sure - if you'd like to - just let me know. I'm...
Sure - if you'd like to - just let me know. I'm about to start working on a piece called SMZ vs. Belial which will probably be occuping me for every little piece of spare time I can get in the next... |
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Forum: Textual Releases
02-14-04, 01:09 AM
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Replies: 11
Views: 444
Posted By
SMZ
Interesting. Thought you did better on the...
Interesting. Thought you did better on the positive side. Your negative verse seemed more neutral than negative. Good vocab' - liked the way you constructed some of your rhymes to have three words... |
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Forum: Textual Releases
02-14-04, 01:00 AM
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Replies: 13
Views: 311
Posted By
SMZ
Several nice lines, liked the emotion you gave. ...
Several nice lines, liked the emotion you gave. As mentioned there were some missing rhymes. Liked this line: Math im x......... the way i never stay constant ...and what's a "wanigan"? Hit... |
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Forum: Textual Releases
02-13-04, 10:46 AM
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Replies: 13
Views: 287
Posted By
SMZ
"Please Give Me An Example"
seemed...
"Please Give Me An Example" seemed like the last line was a little stretched out - so I'm thinking something like: Lazyness is a disease effecting every-thing and any-thing- I might be slaving... |
| Showing results 1 to 25 of 102 |
