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Old 12-09-04, 05:40 AM   #1
4fil
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Text Record: 18-6
4fil vs led poetic

IP: AE20 80F4

Battle Rules:

20 - 50 Lines
No Crew Votes
No Recycling
No Biting

topikal.........

topik = "oportunity knocks"

Minimum posts to vote: 250

Check in by: 12-12-04 at 05:40 AM

Must drop verse in 4320 minutes after check in.

Old, expired battle win


This Battle Is Now Closed

 
Old 12-09-04, 05:40 AM   #2
4fil
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k its here.....
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Nostradamus
Your really dope though..
 
Old 12-09-04, 05:41 AM   #3
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led poetic has ACCEPTED this battle on 12-09-04 05:41 AM.
 
Old 12-09-04, 07:04 AM   #4
Ancel
God is a Fable.
 
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Deliverance From Fear (Opportunity Knocks)

I looked out the window while I sat my confusion on my elbow…
The night camouflaged the ghostly liquid streaming down my face…
Dropping to my feet sounding as if cries of help escaped from my pupil..
He caught two…
He held a part of me trapped in his hand…
In the other..
I struggle to break free but his grip was to strong
My mind laid mangled in distress
I need to unpack these contrary thoughts…
He held a scream in his fist…
He open his right hand, and a scream was let out
A scream that was contain and apart of me for so long
The man exam the liquid as if his eyes were a magnified glass…
Every mistake, memory and feeling I had he knew.
Nothing was a secrete
He spoke volumes but simple, trustful and touching words
He told me that “having fear is being in bondage and I should cast all my cares on him”
Stunned and I question his present.
“who are you to me?
No one…”
The radiant eyes of this man became foggy.
“Do not be afraid my child
As I was with Mosses I will be with you”
I knew who he was now…
My God…My Savior
The God that I thought forgotten about me
Just because he does not come when I want him to…
…does not mean he left me…
His present comforts me, and his voice rocked me back and forth
This is my opportunity to be free..
My chance to make things right
…My Deliverance…
 
Old 12-09-04, 07:24 PM   #5
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4fil has ACCEPTED this battle on 12-09-04 07:24 PM.
 
Old 12-10-04, 07:06 PM   #6
Ancel
God is a Fable.
 
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yo man are you going to drop at anytime?... or do i just get a noshow win?
 
Old 12-12-04, 05:22 PM   #7
4fil
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yo sorry bout the wait... i've been on holiday at my batch, wait ill go write some shit now
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Nostradamus
Your really dope though..
 
Old 12-12-04, 07:07 PM   #8
4fil
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IP: 8EEC E82E

Life is like a pack of playing cards, the cards being the opportunities…..
….. You must use the hand you are dealt wisely


..::Opportunity knocks::..


:Intro
Another hard day’s work, grinding metal on the construction site
Despite low pay and long hours, I need the money to survive
I come home exhausted, enter my home, shit its been broken into…
…again, I called the police… but no one knows truly what I been through
I gazed around the room, T.V. gone, fridge gone everything gone
I cry for a bit, pull myself together and try to be strong
What did I do wrong on life… did I just take the easy path
I failed my class, I should have studied for science and math
Gotten a better job, stopped for this pathetic life
Get wife, been alone for ages, aint even got a car to drive

I should have thought about my future when it really mattered
But from 16 onwards my life just fell and splattered
I should have used the opportunities that were given
Then I may have had a life that was worth living

:verse
I sat on my bed, tears trickling down my eyes
Cold and lonely, suddenly I thought of suicide
My pride was low, then I thought of a new job
I picked up the news paper, and my eyes just stopped
On an article about a movie, I thought I could star in that
I got my hopes up, put the paper down on my lap
Imagined me as a super star, so I decided to go audition
Got the bus into town, and I was high off my ambitions
Entered the apartment house, looking for room number 23
Knocked on the door, and a young lady looks at me
“can I help you” she said “um, I’m here about the film”
she says “oh ok… this way” and signalled to come in
there were about 20 other people there, all for the same thing
all for the same reason of just pursuing a dream
The auditions began, and I had to act out a scene
So I began with feeling, but everyone was as keen
After that was over we were told to have a seat
I was so confident, I though I had the opposition beat
The lady said “there are five parts” and began reading
My name wasn’t called……….. inside I began screaming
NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO
NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO
I got home, and sat down in my same depressed stage
Gazed at the paper with the job… then I riped up that page
I clenched my fists, then tears rolled from my eyes
And then it came again…. The thought of suicide
I stood up… went and walked out onto my deck
Gazed over and jumped… landed and smashed my neck
.................................................. ......................................
………………………………………… …………….

There are no opportunities that come to you, you have to find them
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Nostradamus
Your really dope though..
 
Old 12-12-04, 07:08 PM   #9
4fil
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dude......... good verse...... but none of your shit rhymes?
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Nostradamus
Your really dope though..
 
Old 12-13-04, 02:38 AM   #10
4fil
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uppin for votes!
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Nostradamus
Your really dope though..
 
Old 12-13-04, 03:21 AM   #11
L.E
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Voted For: 4fil

Hmm...was led poetic's verse even a verse? I saw no rhyme scheme whatsoever...if it was a poem, then hell yeah it was a dope poem, but the battle says TOPICAL. Every topical I have seen rhymes...but other than that 4hil came dope wit this...flow, imagery, vocab, everythin...led poetic had that, only if he woulda spit a topical verse. No hate.

Return the favor please.

Battle: 9th

Degree


Topical: Metaskriptz

Wack Battle aka

Waste of Time: stg


Audio: Infector

Mindz


Vote disqualified for inadequate feedback. Please see this thread if you need help on what qualifies as an acceptable explanation.
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Old 12-13-04, 02:11 PM   #12
Ancel
God is a Fable.
 
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its called a freeverse style... you dont know very much about this

we went through this same shit over on RB when i beat dev because i went freeverse on that aswell
 
Old 12-13-04, 07:43 PM   #13
4fil
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well........ i dont really no much about RB..... but on Rv..... topikal.... you use rhymes
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Nostradamus
Your really dope though..
 
Old 12-14-04, 07:36 PM   #14
4fil
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oi dont be a dick and disqulify votes.... thats just herbish
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Nostradamus
Your really dope though..
 
Old 12-15-04, 05:12 AM   #15
Dex
Gods Of War! -yeah im one
 
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This was feedback posted for 4fil

IP: CD98 49E3

Oooh, wat a load of crap. Il be very surprised if you win this. The other guy would have to be terrible to lose to this.

"NO NO NO NO NO NO" -What the fuck is this!?!?
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