ok first I'ma point out the negative...

Structure needs work...yea I understand that to an audio emcee it's not gonna make a diffrence how the structure looks, but u should try to even it up, atleast so the readers have an easier time.

The hook seemed fucking long...It was tite..but it was long...I've always felt like, the shorter the hook, the better...because the whole purpose of a hook is to be catchy (hence the name hook).....You might be on a deep topic but u still need for the hook to be catchy...When u write a chorus u should try to think to ur self and see if u can picture other people singing ur hook....

Ok now the positive

Your lyrics are dope...You used nice multis that also had nice internals....2 seperate rhymeschemes in 2 lines...the flow was nice (atleast to me)...even though your structure was horrible this seemed to flow easily to me b/c I read it in a tech n9ne style flow...slow at some parts but speeding up toward the ends of the each line...

neway try working on a few things and u'll be pretty damn good..

peace

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<center> I.J.L</center>