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Old 12-20-03, 06:02 AM   #3
Dev
1E
 
Posts: 1,512
From: N.E.England
IP:

thought ya scheme was ok....for rhyming...but the way it tailed of in the second half...let it down...the lines dont have to be the same...but the flow jus fell....work on that,,,keep it more like the beginning and...you'll do better...pZ
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