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And follow rules, else this will be deleted.. = )
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^what he means by that is leaving 3 links or 3 names of people you left feedback to, incase you didnt know.
But this was ok...structure in this was alright, could be touched up a bit though..vocab could be better, up that then.....also try adding some multies and internals like said before...flow was alright i thought....but overall this was ok....but keep at it.