Aight yo here we go....
I ain't gonna be an asshole so don't take this wrong, the verses and all was ill, but your structure needs work, you used multies good here and there but you need to come with more to doctor the flow when you gotstra stretch them bars...Multies and internals will fix that. Also yer verses were way to short, that would make a minute and a half audio if you were lucky, you never know how much of a difference it makes till you spit it, but even if you spit to a slow beat your still gonna come out with a short song beacause of you structure and it looks a lot longer than it sounds, trust me, I have a mixtape out and the first song I did I was like WOW! 32 bars is only like 45 seconds? WTF? you know what I'm sayin? anyway, just make your verses twice as long and it'l be ill, I think, and those internals and multis I talked about...ppeace yo, keep up the good work