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Old 12-22-03, 02:38 PM   #3
A.T.
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work on your structure...
heres yours-

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it should be like:
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keep your bars even... and dont force multies... they should come
natural... if you have to think about em... dont use em...
think of some better punches... and learn to use wordplay...
create metaphors... they help with punches.
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